Why does every Tom, Dick and Harry have an opinion about a woman’s decision to work or not after marriage?

Whether a woman decided to work or not after marriage is her own decision. Why does every person in society impose their views on her?

8 replies
Archana Sarat
June 7, 2017

8 Comments

  1. If you are qualified doesn’t mean that you have to do Job or Earn something. Qualification/ studies also help in life style manner , AT KT, life science etc. and the best part you can give culture pass on to your children or it comes in automatically *p*

  2. Because Indians still believe in “kanyadan”. So, they think they “own” women- like cattle…

  3. Archna you did what your heart wanted,my story is similar to yours,i am well educated,did a little work after marriage and took an emphatic decision not to work after the kids were born.People have scoffed at me,thinking i have wasted my education sitting in the house.It included both friends and relatives,my husband supported my decision,now when my children have done well for themselves,people have started eulogising my efforts.I gave a deaf ear and a blind eye and my only catharsis lies in writing.I may not be a renowned author but it gives me a sense of satisfaction which no job could give.Think of education as a fixed deposit which can be used at any juncture,

  4. Simply because people feel entitled to lay boundaries, set expectations, define powers and every other thing which impacts one’s life when it comes to a woman.its not just about work, you can see similar control even in as simple a thing as going out in public spaces-people decide when and where is acceptable to go.try going out for a walk at some random time and be judged mercilessly!

  5. I think women do it to themselves. They allow themselves to be subjugated. They give away their reins to someone else, and let people control. After marriage, normally, the girls behave strangely. They submit into every whim, and get involved. Society imposes because women do not rebel. If one woman decides to stand up against the society, she will no longer be subjugated. But will she be ready to fight for her rights, even at the expense of her relationship with her spouse ? There lies the challenge.

  6. A few months after my marriage, a man I had just met at a party asked me, ‘why are you just a house wife’.*p*I was furious. Didn’t even bother telling him that I am a professor and working. He didn’t deserve any justification from me- whether or not I choose to work is not his concern! *p**p*Having seen my mother and mother in law, I knew fully well how challenging and demanding it is to run a home well. You have to be efficient and totally on top of your game to make it run like a well oiled machine. So all I could manage to say was, ‘what do you mean just a house wife? What do YOU know about running a home’? *p*God knows why people have opinions on women and their work status. *p*Personally, am so so grateful to all full time mothers, lady doctors/ dentists/teachers, bus didi’s, domestic staff, female parking assistants, lady swimming coaches and bank Tellers and writers… and so on.. for making society what it is. I feel a society is beautiful when its women can be out there, as active members, contributing without fear and choose for themselves what they want to do.*p**p**p*

  7. I want to quote a line which may not be very appropriate, but suits the discussion the most. Opinions are like a-holes, everyone has one. *p*That said, notice how ‘Tom, Dick and Harry’ are all guys? I think it might be more than incidental in this case. The deep rooted patriarchy gives license to all men (and even women!) to question every bit of every single woman who gets married (or not). *p*In short, question Every woman. While this is sad, there are only two ways out of this:*p*1. Be a smart mouth. Sound the person off. Make sure the person thinks twice before giving their opinion where its clearly not needed. *p*2. Ignore. Put your ears on mute. Push it under the carpet. Mark as spam. *p**p*Just my two cents.

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