Like how can a person adjust in a family after marriage if in -laws don't have acceptability or they don't? give time to adjust. It feels suffocating when no one understands.
Why in-laws can’t give us time to adjust ?
Like how can a person adjust in a family after marriage if in -laws don't have acceptability or they don't? give time to adjust. It feels suffocating when no one understands.
10 comments
This is a big problem, Bhavita. Adjustment is always expected. But in-laws are never willing to adjust. To make it worse for newly-weds, unnecessary demands are always raised. By not giving ample time, elders want to prove you cannot adjust. They are eager to dismiss your efforts and form negative opinion about you. Take it coolly, never feel bad if despite trying your best you cannot meet their expectations. Married life is not all about making in-laws happy. Focus on your marriage instead. *p*
Thanks a lot. God bless you.*p*
My own case was such that my parents were, and still are, possessive about me and that hurt my wife a lot. 22 years into the arriage, I realise they could have done far better to leave us alone in our early days and give us to understand and explore each other's needs and idiosyncracies early in life. We miss that opportunity, still, and crave for that past with each other.*p**p* *p*
This is true. In some households, the in-laws expect the bride to be become accustomed to the inmates right away. They should rather think from the bride's perspective who is entirely new to the surroundings. I feel the husband should stand up in support of his wife and ask his relatives to give her some time until she becomes used to every one. I think this is the right approach.*p**p* *p*
On one hand they can't see their daughters suffer..But on the other hand they try to make their dil struggle..*p**p*The older generation is quite rigid. They just want everything instantly which is not feasible.. we need time to understand our new role..*p**p*Hopefully this happens soon…*p*
Ur comment has given me a direction indeed sir..*p*
Ya true it's insecurity that plays a role here..But if acceptance is der it can be dealt with..*p*
Definitely u can't change the past n it soo happens that insecurities of parents affect our relationships*p*
In-laws still think that the woman should make al the compromises and learn the way of their household. They do not think she may have a different code to love by and frankly speaking I think they really do not care. I think wer still very partiarchal, at least a major chunk. *p*
True to ones senses. But they too are very afraid to let somebody enter into their comfortable zone. SO it’s insecurity in both cases that leads to the confusing and thus leading to tension of all sorts. But yes they should give the time to adjust with the new environment so that both can find a better way to survive.