why is it a challenge for husbands to express love after marriage?

my boyfriend brought me flowers, he planned special surprises, appreciated and noticed small changes in my new look. What then happened to him overnight when he became my husband? where did all the expression go?

16 replies
Antara Rakesh
June 7, 2017


Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am
Antara Rakesh June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

makes complete sense!!*p*

Antara Rakesh June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

unfortunately..looks like it!!*p*

Antara Rakesh June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

bravo!! bitter truth i guess!!*p*

Antara Rakesh June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

answering my question with a counter question!! interresting!!*p*

Antara Rakesh June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

agreed to your bit in the first half.. the second example of kids though..i cant see how it is the same concept.. noticing a change and refraining from doing what we did before marriage.. a little different..isnt it!!*p*

Antara Rakesh June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

thought provoking!!*p*

Antara Rakesh June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

i think you have absolutely hit the bulls eye!!*p*

Bali Sanghvi June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

We are quick to judge a man when he becomes a "husband " from a boyfriend without even realizing that we too become "wives" from girlfriends….  So if they have stopped expressing love or they have stopped showing love to the wives then it would help to counter question the wife too*p*

Jamuna Rangachari June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Love is still expressed though the form may be different. Coming to the station to see you off, booking tickets for you and your loved ones, sharing a cup of tea together, that is also love. Further, the feeling needs to be mutual, the more you share love, the more you get. This is the mantra of life itself.*p*

Ashok Chhibbar June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Hi, The example of the kids is not a "concept" but a matter of "perception"! It is how one looks at it. In a marital relationship one has to be dynamic in one's outlook.*p**p* *p*

Ashok Chhibbar June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

I do not think that there is a challenge here. It is more of perceptions. As boy friend, he meets and sees you after a gap of many hours or days, while as a wife he sees you everyday. Small changes escape the eye. For example, if one has a child, the parents do not see a change easily till some outsider comes and exclaims "OMG! how big he/she has grown!"  The parents realise a change only when the old clothes/shoes do not fit.*p**p*Find new ways of keeping yourselves engaged as a couple. Break the shackles of a routine day.*p*

Saurabh Dalal June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

The challenge of maintaining the relationship is what makes it alive and going. Anything which is easily available loses interest for the human mind. E.g.,Even a new Iphone loses it's attraction after a few days. The easiest way to bring back love is to Just stay away from each other some time. The spark is invariably reignited.*p**p*All our efforts are geared towards achiveing the unattained. What is attained -be it work, life or relationships have an interest expiry date. And when it comes to relationships, to be frank, monogamy is unnatural. It's like being loyal to roti and daal all your life for every single meal. It has been imposed by society and religion and government authorities to regularise and dominate human relationships and family. But, sooner or later the human mind rebels, sometimes in private and sometimes publicly. The recent trends of proliferation in extra marital relationships is basically a sign of rebellion against the monogamy imposed by authorities.*p*

DrSanjeevTrivedi June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Many men may not agree but generally for men the sense of achievement is what drives them. Having won over the girlfriend it becomes a 'possession'.*p**p*There is no active 'desire' for a typical male to show gratitude for what he believes he 'owns'.*p**p*He becomes busy hunting for something (or someone) which again gives him the sense of achievement. This behavior is imbibed in male genetic code and is the strongest reason for the men to be polygamous.*p*

JoyeetaTalukdar June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Relationships are complex and the art of maintaining the newness in it always is more complex.  The reason behind them might be because we take everything for granted and are too lost in our own priorities in life rather than thinking that there are others too who have expectations of love and care from us.  It's not the case of the husband alone but it fits for the wify too who takes her daily schedule too much as a routine then instead of thinking out of the box.  Question is do you express youself fully to your husband? If no then start thinking over it and if yes then talk with him about your doubts and feelings because unless one talks no solution shall come out instead more collision will occur.  Regards *p*

modernromeo June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Is it about taking each other for granted? One they have tied the knot? *p*

Priya Chaphekar June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

It's not only about husbands. Marriage, in general, makes people complacent. It's like scaling a 'summit'; you don't feel like putting in as much effort anymore now that the insecurity of the other person leaving you has gone. I think it's the slight jealousy or insecurity that makes the couple still do things for each other!*p*

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