Why not walk out instead of blabbing marriage problems stories to every person you meet?

When I listen marriage problems stories from so many people but find that despite all the issues, they choose to continue the wedlock, I get confused. What forces them to remain married despite all the problems? Why not break free?
 

18 replies
Surabhi Pandey
June 7, 2017

18 Comments

  1. Sometimes it is useless tormenting yourself with complex speculations and reasoning as overthinking could result in stressful conditions. Breaking a wedding lock may be the only option left sometime. Though we are aware about the consequences we do continue living in same circumstances one factor may be that we are in constant fear about future. Old amorous experiences make you quite sceptical as sudden change in life circumstances could be extremely bizarre sometimes where we need to take the courageous step not only for self but yes, for children. As I said there may be x number of reasons for a marriage dispute that may be on an edge. We women tend to instil hope looking forward thinking everything would be okay someday, but in the process when situations are left unattended we fail to understand that would result into monumental crisis in future.*p**p*You may feel losing solid ground under your feet, and you may experience old comfortable and cosy life disappearing as if everything is crumbling down as you are unable to fix. Thus, best option but you don’t have to struggle on your own with your challenge. Stand up speak up take the correct decisions on time instead of fretting over past why not breakup free and start a new chapter of life. Yes, it is not easy but not impossible either. This is a starting point to unleash us from the marooned and depressed life.*p*

  2. We  usually have arranged marriages in  India. Divorce here is justified only in the following cases*p**p*Physical violence *p**p*Alcoholic spouse*p**p*Mental illness of spouse*p**p*For anything else, divorce comes with huge costs-*p**p*If there are kids they would likely get emotional scars*p**p*The couple  would lose their status in society *p**p*Its a very long drawn out and expensive process *p**p*Its difficult to get remarried in arranged marriages. *p**p*Divorce is a very huge step to take and it cannot be taken lightly. *p*

  3. Yes, Youre absolutely right. But each individual is different. Ideally according to you and me, they should move out. But we do not live in an ideal world. People behave differently in similar situations, good or bad. WHat works for you may not work for me vice versa. *p**p*There can be multiple reasns why anyone may choose to stick in a bad marriage. It may also be that the person may be over estimating the bad in their marraige. WHo knows.*p**p*The best is either to give a patient and sensitive ear to them or be assertive and tell them that youre not the right person to speak about this. *p*

  4. Indian societal valules, family pressures, children, financial insecurity are some of the compulsions that keep people from walking away from a problematic marriage. Unlike the Western world where people change spouses like they change underwear, in India it is not so easy. With changing times, thinking of people is undergoing a change, albeit slowly. It will be sometime, perhaps a decade or more, before we are able to 'break free' from a bad marriage. Even socially active and financially secure women think twice(or more) before ending a marriage.*p**p* *p*

  5. yes , you are so right …it s better to walk out of a bad marriage than boring people with your story and trying to get sympathy ! Having said that , I think it is not as easy as it seems ..there are so many compulsions that makes it difficult to break free, societal and familial pressure, children, financial dependency, not having enough confidence to face life alone, and last but not the least public opinion! It's a brave step and not everybody is up to it ..*p*

  6. It's called hope. They just hope that everything gets normal. They feel lighter when they share their experiences with others.They share because they want to hear our views on the matter. They want to know if there is any other way to salvage the relationship. I think that is why they talk to people. They cannot break free because it is a big step.*p*

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