Why some people does not express their love affectionately to their partner but vent out their anger on them?

I have seen many people behaving rudely to their spouses but very sweet and polite with outsiders. Whats the reason behind it??

20 replies
July 13, 2017


Hridaan July 18, 2017 - 4:23 pm

It’s complacency.
They start treating their partners as a commodity. They feel that whatever they do, their partners are never going to go away. So they show minimal love even though the love may still be there.

Sawmya July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am


Sawmya July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

After living together4 a long while, v take our partners 4 granted which is acceptable up to a certain limit.  But in any case..watsoever behaving rudely 2 our spouses is not a right thing*p*

Nidhi Sodha July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

After two people have been in a relationship for a considerable amount of time, they start taking each othet for granted as they are in the comfort zone of the relationship.*p**p*That said, appreciating and wooing may not be a necessity for one reason which is lack of insecurity. But the expectations to read and understand the other's moods, worries and preferences are raised all the more. This usually becomes a reason for fights in middle aged couples.*p*

Shipra Pande July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

yeah..and it is quite common. ..I know some people who fit well into this category… as far as I have observed, it is mostly due to low self-confidence. They act arrogantly to feel superior.*p*

Sawmya July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

yes exactly*p*

Sawmya July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

yes sir ..very true. But after getting continuous insults and rude behaviour from our spouses…naturally the self esteem goes down*p*

Sawmya July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

yes but the reality is far from it….U have seen many people suffering it. *p*

Ranjana Kamo July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

I feel they take their personal relationships for granted. It is a harsh and bitter truth that I too have witnessed. No relationship should be taken for granted else it starts to decay. Each individual needs appreciation and affection. *p*

DrSanjeevTrivedi July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

1. Familiarity breeds contempt. Learn to maintain dignity and distance.*p**p*2. Do not allow the spouse to take you for granted.*p**p*3. Learn to command respect.*p**p*4. Improve self worth.*p**p* *p*

Tina July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

Yes…we want to be nice in front of distant people who don't care about us and hurt the people who do! *p*

Tina July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

Wow! *p*

Tina Acharya July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

Yes. Its an ugly reality that exists in our society. Sometime, I feel, some people assume that "becoming their spouse" is a crime in itself. I mean, how come the wife or husband becomes worst person in the world? Or just the only enemy one can have. I think, there is a deep rooted insecurity resides behand such behaviour. Sometime. I just wonder having no clue of such behaviour!!*p*

Barnali Roy July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

We tend to take our close ones for granted while maintaining the veneer of politeness and courtesy towards outsiders. That's because we want to maintain our image in society. At home or with our own people we are our own unpolished rude selves. But it's those close ones who are going to remain with us through life, so we better remember that. And show kindness and courtesy towards them too.*p*

Bhagyashree Sowani July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

I think that when we spend too much time with just one person his negative points get magnified in our minds and we forget their virtues. *p**p*To get over this its a good idea to spend more time away from each other and listen to other people's problems. Then maybe we can be more grateful for our own life. *p*

Tina July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

This is sad but very true! I think couples need to realy sit down and give this a serious thoguht. Also people put the other down in front of others…that is when thry feel they are not heard at home. but this always acts as counter-productive. But you have raised a very pertinent issue. *p*

Ajay July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

You would not have seen the entirity of their relationship. As with all things, there is more than what meets the eye. We are nicer to strangers as people who don't know us very well may be offended easily or may not understand us. But with those close we can shed the veil of politeness and be ourselves. Which may include snapping sometimes or talking in a way that could come across as being rude to others. Don't judge a book by its cover. *p*

Sawmya July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

yes exactly, it shouldnt b like that. but reality is different.  I have a friend who is going through this…She came to me for my advice. Ofcourse, I told her to communicate it to her husband. His reaction was really strange.  He said " I am not that  "sweet talking type of husband , I speak whats in my mind" . I think these people have to b polite with others,  while suppressing their anger and release all the frustrations on their poor spouse.  Atleast once in our life(esp in India) v can c  an aunty who is an obedient daughter in law or a working woman ( who has to look after the whole house single handedly) but totally frustrated and her husband fell prey to her frustrations.  *p*

Aman Singh July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

Because they treat their spouses as their own property. They think they can behave in any way they want to and the spouse would understand and wouldn't judge. But it's not like that. You shouldn't take your spouse for granted. Instead, you should behave more with them than you are behaving to an outsider.*p*

Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

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