Why some people does not express their love affectionately to their partner but vent out their anger on them?

I have seen many people behaving rudely to their spouses but very sweet and polite with outsiders.  Whats the reason behind it??

20 replies
July 13, 2017


  1. Yes…we want to be nice in front of distant people who don't care about us and hurt the people who do! *p*

  2. Yes. Its an ugly reality that exists in our society. Sometime, I feel, some people assume that "becoming their spouse" is a crime in itself. I mean, how come the wife or husband becomes worst person in the world? Or just the only enemy one can have. I think, there is a deep rooted insecurity resides behand such behaviour. Sometime. I just wonder having no clue of such behaviour!!*p*

  3. We tend to take our close ones for granted while maintaining the veneer of politeness and courtesy towards outsiders. That's because we want to maintain our image in society. At home or with our own people we are our own unpolished rude selves. But it's those close ones who are going to remain with us through life, so we better remember that. And show kindness and courtesy towards them too.*p*

  4. I think that when we spend too much time with just one person his negative points get magnified in our minds and we forget their virtues. *p**p*To get over this its a good idea to spend more time away from each other and listen to other people's problems. Then maybe we can be more grateful for our own life. *p*

  5. This is sad but very true! I think couples need to realy sit down and give this a serious thoguht. Also people put the other down in front of others…that is when thry feel they are not heard at home. but this always acts as counter-productive. But you have raised a very pertinent issue. *p*

  6. You would not have seen the entirity of their relationship. As with all things, there is more than what meets the eye. We are nicer to strangers as people who don't know us very well may be offended easily or may not understand us. But with those close we can shed the veil of politeness and be ourselves. Which may include snapping sometimes or talking in a way that could come across as being rude to others. Don't judge a book by its cover. *p*

  7. yes exactly, it shouldnt b like that. but reality is different.  I have a friend who is going through this…She came to me for my advice. Ofcourse, I told her to communicate it to her husband. His reaction was really strange.  He said " I am not that  "sweet talking type of husband , I speak whats in my mind" . I think these people have to b polite with others,  while suppressing their anger and release all the frustrations on their poor spouse.  Atleast once in our life(esp in India) v can c  an aunty who is an obedient daughter in law or a working woman ( who has to look after the whole house single handedly) but totally frustrated and her husband fell prey to her frustrations.  *p*

  8. Because they treat their spouses as their own property. They think they can behave in any way they want to and the spouse would understand and wouldn't judge. But it's not like that. You shouldn't take your spouse for granted. Instead, you should behave more with them than you are behaving to an outsider.*p*