Wife getting Fat!

Since we got married my wife gained 60 pounds. I love her but I’m not physically attracted to her anymore . What should I do?

6 replies
Nitin Kumar
August 28, 2017


  1. Did you marry her for her physical appearance alone? One day when you grow old, start balding, have wobbly knees & are hard of hearing, what will you expect her to do to you?

  2. Is it only physical beauty that interests you?She might be going through some medical problem or stress ,which might be instrumental in gaining weight.Help her out,respect her and love the innate beauty.A couple is commited for life ,these trivial things shouldn’t crop up in marriage,if it happened vice versa how will you react?Try and introspect and be mature

  3. Google “my spouse got fat.” Hundreds of online forums pop up and the common thread is along the lines of: “I love my wife, she has a great personality, but she’s become fat and refuses to do anything about it. Now I’m finding I’m not attracted to her and thinking of leaving her. What do I do?”

    It’s unclear if you’re communicating your concerns, or the gravity of your concerns, but if you aren’t you should start to do so immediately. But you have to do it gently, tactfully. Gaining weight can be a vicious cycle: you get fatter, you get depressed about it, gain more weight, etc.

    If you really love your wife, first of all check if it is a medical or psychological issue. If so, she should see or a doctor soon.

    You need to help her, not hurt her. It’s a fine line between insulting and “fat shaming” a person and making them even more depressed and self-conscious, and encouraging and praising them into getting their old self/mojo back. It takes delicacy and diplomacy. Show her you care.

  4. Take a realistic view of the situation. Explore options for losing fat and helping her with it.
    Joining the gym together can be a great way to re-bond and re-connect emotionally which will help you look at her differently.
    Consult a doctor- get her checked for thyroid or any other ailment.
    Meet a nutritionist to help chalk out a healthy diet.
    But most of all, have trust in the marriage and make her feel wanted & desired in the best way you can.
    Don’t give up on her or your marriage.

  5. She must be feeling helpless and defeated. The ‘defense’ she puts up to guard her problem, might be further alienating you.

    If you love her express it. Learn new positions to first satisfy her and then slowing winning her trust, indulge in a weight loss program. The same diet that both of you have maybe gaining weight for her. Make changes in the diet regimen and encourage her to be indulging in activities that improve her Basal Metabolic Rate. Get her hormonal imbalance corrected, with the help of an endocrinologist.

  6. Do you still look the same? I am guessing not. Perhaps both of you can join a gym, or go for morning runs, fix your diet. Please don’t fat shame her. But be a part of the process so she does not feel like her husband does not love her anymore.

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