Will you forgive a one night stand of your spouse?

One night stands are not so rare as people may believe, does that make them more pardonable? Will you forgive your spouse for a rare one-night-stand… have you been in one and have been forgiven… or is it best to keep it under the bedsheets.

22 replies
Sanjeev Kotnala
July 13, 2017


Sanjeev Kotnala July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

COMPLETELY AGREE, that we will avoid taking a hard stance under these excuses and not bind ourselves to a reaction or action, leaving us the freedom to swing. That is also a modern way where values and emotions are not black and white. The question is- if everything was constant and no change in the relationship– and this unforeseen thing happenned– what is the stance one will take– YES it reains hypothetical- so Hypotheically what will be the stance… Its a push.. I would say– for me it will be over– Control- no control- situation not explainned– and the same will be my expectation*p*

ShiviGoyal July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

I think it depends on what kind of relationship a husband and a wife share. In this mordern world having a night stand only is not the matter to judge the relationship. There are many parameters that determine the relationship status, thus only having a night stand is not a paradigm. *p**p*SpiritedBlogger*p*

Sanjeev Kotnala July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

I agree with most of the things you shared. However what is uncomfortable is the fact that modern life and living style seems to be used as a scapegoat for changing needs and atitudes. These thing swill matter or not- ir-respective of the age we are in. Remember something that I learnt long time back. People who mind dont matter and people who matter dont mind. *p*

Me July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

We are into a new modern world now and all these things hardly matter at a particulat level and stage. I believe that as long as husband and wife love and respect each other and maintain a stable relationship of commitment and trust then one night stand is a very small thing. On the other hand if a couple's sex life is not up to the mark , then there is no harm to look for such relation outside if nothing is working at home. However, such a freedom should be applicable to both-Husband and Wife.*p*

Urmimala Das July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

I will. A relationship  is not all about sex, it includes many more things.  *p*

Sanjeev Kotnala July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

Aman- excuses and situational dependence in many cases is just a reason to indulge… some of them could be genuine too… Self control is such an underated expression … if that is the case… then one has to go a step bac why the self control loss was intential or …. thatsme.. what you said.. could work for you.. *p*

Sanjeev Kotnala July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

Unpredicyability and mutual comfort is such a great decision influencer. Each life is separte and each decision has differential variables. Thanks for a rich reply*p*

Andy July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

Who are we to forgive or not forgive someone. Spouse is a companion, a partner, a friend, an individual who decides to spend life together with you but an individual with own life. We don't own anyone like a car or a property registered in our name. *p**p*Everyone has a life and it's their decision what they do with theirs. Marriage should be a comfort zone where both the partners are free to live and express themselves but unfortunately this is mostly theoritical, it doesn't happens in real in majority of the cases.*p**p*Human lives are very strange and unpredictable. We never know what happened why and how. We find ourselves in the most strangest of circumstances and at times end up doing things which we would never had thought of doing.Life should be open for everything and what matters is happiness not truth. Sometimes truth comes with it's share of baggage also.*p**p*As long as both of the partners are happy, enjoy life as it comes. Depending on the nature of the partner it's best to keep things wrapped if the other person cannot handle it or can shake the marriage / family.*p*

Aman Singh July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

It's a real murder of another person's trust and faith in you. But I feel at some situations where you're really not in your sane state of mind and someone has taken an advantage of your condition then you can actually forgive the person. Because you'd know that when they are in a condition to control themselves, they won't do something that horrible ever. So it's totally up to you is that how you are looking in to the things.*p*

Sanjeev Kotnala July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

Seems a practical approach.. emotional hurt also need to be tackled with rational and in real life real time… think that is somewhat what I would do… and hope I do not encounter the situation ever *p*

Jeeta July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

The first answer would be "no way in hell". But then we don't live in a movie where the jilted partner takes off to Tuscany leaving everything. We have a family together, we have responibility towards our extended families and our children. Then there's a long shared time and experiences. Maybe I will give a chance of hearing to my spouse at least, and then some time. After that who knows what will happen.*p*

Sanjeev Kotnala July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

Yes, I understand the feeling and maybe the reasons . Many find it difficult to forgive even a single incidents and they are also right in their approach… *p**p* *p*

Abhijit Gadre July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

No! I wouldn't and neither expect to be forgiven.It is best not to discuss or forgiveness may be misconstrued as encouragement.If they occur very often then they cannot be one night stands. In my opinion if it is a rare situation best kept in wraps.*p*

Sanjeev Kotnala July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

This is my stance too– which is not the same as in our nation. Man wants to be pardoned but a woman won't… *p*

DeeptiMenon July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

I think I would find it very difficult to forgive my spouse for a one-night stand, maybe because I would never do it myself. It is, after all, a matter of trust, which is vital in a harmonious relationship, and once that is lost, the crack will always be there. *p*

Sawmya July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

Definitely it is to save the relationship. …Especially when u r married and have kids. Sir, u might have seen that around u.  V have 2 make lots of sacrifices. *p*

Sanjeev Kotnala July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

well said.. life was never rational and things never so simple as one would want it to be… *p*

Malini July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

I can't answer, this. There is no fixed answer.. pardoning depends on so many factors… Is he or she a habitual offender or so I want to consider the reason because iam too chicken to let go… *p**p*It really depends.. if iam loyal, I expect full loyalty, but life has its ways, and if your relationship already is on tenterhooks then… It's something to think about… *p*

Sanjeev Kotnala July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

Appreciate. But releasing stress is something I could not really uderstand. Do you also expect to be forgiven… do you think your spouse would also forgive.. or is it a one sided decision without expectations*p*

Sanjeev Kotnala July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

Understand and I find that most of the people would do so. Repeated stand is definit issue. But when you pardon the first time, what causes you to do so, is it to save the relationship or something else…. *p*

Sawmya July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

It depends upon the situation… But having one night stands repeatedly… is not pardonable…*p*

Tina July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

Yes..I would forgive. A one night stand could be about one drunk evening where one slips. It could be about releasing stress. It could also be about us being biologically polyamorous! I would forgive!*p*

Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am

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