Gym, Journals, Jagjit Singh...how I got over my break-up

Jitendra Pande shares five tried and tested ways of recovering from heartbreak

Jitendra Pande | Posted on 08 Mar 2016
Dealing With a Breakup | Gym, Music and More | Bonobology

Broken relationships are more painful than broken ribs. I am no hot-shot psychiatrist but I’ve had my share of heartbreaks and heartaches. So, what do we do when somebody actually dumps us?

When it happens, it seems like life has come to a standstill. Nothing seems real! We feel like “God, let it be a nightmare, let it get over when I wake up.” When the reality actually dawns, we know it’s too late to set things right. Now what? We cry, sob and sloth around and increase the sale of tissues! Should we organise a condolence meeting for the relationship that no longer exists? Not really. Here are some handy and practical tips which helped me to move on with things; should be good for you too!

The chronicles of a ‘sobster’:

This was told to me by one of my friends and believe me, this helped me miraculously. Wondering what is it exactly? Well, it’s simple - maintain a grief diary. The most difficult phase after a break-up is the flood of memories that keeps on flowing in your brain like a deluge. Those texts messages, those songs - everything pinches you. You feel like talking to that idiot again. But you can’t. So what do you do next? You just simply sit and sob, right? Next time, pick a diary (an old one though) and start writing whatever you feel like. You feel like swearing, swear it out in your diary. Curse, talk, or write about your love: whatever you want to say to that fellow who has actually dumped you. Now the question is, what is the trick behind this all? Well, when you actually start writing: #1 it takes time and #2 it takes effort and finally, this entire process of writing is cathartic. Your pain gets an outlet, and writing it all down releases you from that web of memories.

You actually see the sun behind those clouds. You get a perspective, a handle over your feelings. What do you with the diary once you are out of the sad phase? Use it for your next barbecue fire!

The six packs:

Well six packs are really in fashion. After a break-up, get a six pack! Join a gym or any sport (well, I could have mentioned some fancy names in the gym business here but nobody gave a good sponsorship deal!) Nah, I am not endorsing a Shahrukh Khan or Aamir Khan here. Ask your science teachers and they can explain it better to you. Simply put, a workout releases a happy hormone. These happy little beings called Endorphins help you forget those unwanted memories; they are perfect perk-me-ups! But hey, wait a minute. Don’t go heavy on the pocket. A run for a mile will do the same trick!

The Jagjit effect:

Well, listening to Jagjit Singh can be dangerous. (No offense intended here please!) This happened to me. Jagjit Singh, Kishore Kumar, Ghulam Ali became instant favourites with me after I was dumped for the first time. It took me a while to realise that those songs actually added to the trauma. They take you back to those days. So please, pick some feel-good numbers. The music market is flooded with peppy tracks. And also stop correlating every number with your life. You feel like Ghulam Ali is actually singing your story. Or that Gulzar saab wrote the song keeping you in mind. For once, give it a break. Pick some peppy music and start humming!

Rendezvous with Simi Garewal:

Nah! Not a big fan of hers. But yes, the conversation part of it rocks. Well the phrase, ‘Gam bantne se kam hote hai’ actually makes sense. Talk about your issues to friends, family, and even pets. Talking to an empathetic stranger helps a lot too. Don’t keep things piled up in your heart, spit it out. You need to be a bit strong and you need to accept the fact that people who love you, ought to know what is going on in your life. So talk it out, let it out.

Keep turning the page:

Finally remember to laugh and enjoy. Love does visit you again in life. Remember what Sidney Sheldon tells in his autobiography - “You don’t know what can happen tomorrow. Life is like a novel, isn’t it? It’s filled with suspense. You have no idea what’s going to happen until you turn the page.” So keep turning the pages, buddy. The next page may start your love story!

 

  

Jitendra Pande

A full time Meryl Streep worshipper, a Harry Potter aficionado and an educator - that’s Jiten. When he is not in his classrooms, he loves having conversations with people over coffee. The only thing permanent in his life are his 18 tattoos, two of which are an homage to his past relationship.

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Comments : 11

Sampurna Majumder: great one Jiten. Even i was very depressed after my first heart break but eventually overcame it after dabbling into a lot of things well written piece by the way!!!

modernromeo: I also went through a terrible break-up where the girl was two timing me, I could not bring myself to speak to anyone about it. Thanks for this piece.

Team Bonobology: Glad that this piece helped you, modernromeo :) Our endeavour is to be of use to people with our nonfiction narratives :)

Archana Rathor: Two thumps up Jiten sir.. Very well written.. I agree with you here.. Keep turning the page.. Keep going to gym.. Keep going for coffee.. keep getting 'devotional'.. You may start your love story..

Team Bonobology: Glad that you liked this story, Archana. Please read other pieces on our portal as well. We are sure they are going to impress you too :)

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