Affair and Cheating

Do people look for physical or inner beauty in extramarital relationships?

When it comes to infidelity, what are people involved really looking for? Physical attraction, inner beauty or something in between?
man flirting with woman

What do people look for in an extramarital affair?

The immediate assumption for most would be some physical component – sex, looks especially for the masculine gender. The saying that women give sex to get love and men give love to get sex has been reinforced through various mediums, but having received over thousands of queries and stories relating to this theme Bonobology has a different take on it.

From our panel of experts- sexologists, marriage therapists, and psychologists we know that more often than not, both men and women actually look for an emotional connection in the extramarital relationship and that it ranks higher than the sex element in it.


Contrary to the popular opinion that people go for the most attractive ‘other’ what we have understood is that people get drawn to those who give them attention and make them feel special.

Here are some interesting thoughts that members shared on our Facebook group ‘Let’s Discuss Infidelity’.

What does one really seek from an affair?

Society has made set rules around love and affairs

Affairs need secrecy. Shhh!

Affairs and the attraction

Affairs are about lust and opportunity

Do affairs fill a void?

Does boredom lead people to affairs?

Or is 'need for change' responsible for affairs?

Affairs cannot be discussed in just black and white

respect is vital for any relationship to last

Affairs are for those who seek 'more' from life

men and women have affairs due to different reasons

Do affairs seek out physically beautiful people?

Speaking of affairs? They're definitely about the looks!

6 reasons why women have an affair

Reasons why men have extramarital affairs

  • Facebook Comments

    1 Comment

    1. To each his own. What you don’t get inside you seek outside obviously. When it might be a dead bedroom for one, it can always be a caring partner for another.

      And I guess in this case gender differences don’t matter much. It actually depends on what he/she is going through currently. Of course there will be people who are serial cheaters. I certainly don’t wish to comment on them!

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