We have all heard this: “Couples who drink together stay together.” But when two people who love each other have fundamental differences in major aspects of life, should they have long drinking sessions or will it lead to a fight? Does getting drunk together result in a blissful evening or one that features broken plates and lamps?
Is it true that once the “I’ll have one glass of red wine” leads to an empty bottle, any lingering animosity seems to taper off, leading to a few new dance moves and a flurry of jokes to liven up the night? After all, when two people drink together, they’re not just drinking, they’re often making memories they’ll probably forget the next day.
Let’s take a look at what the studies have to say, and what Bonobology contributors say about “couples who drink together, stay together”. Does it really hold any weight, or is it all a facade that the dopamine release post the third drink tricks you into believing?
Couples That Drink Together Stay Together
Alcohol is an inhibition suppressant. When you’re able to communicate your feelings and thoughts devoid of any inhibitions, you’ll most probably end up voicing a few opinions more bluntly than you usually would. Whether that’s a good thing or not, depends on your relationship. Couples drinking together can have a range of different outcomes, which also depends on what they drink.
Katie Telles feels that instead of leading to a fight, it might just make the couple laugh off their differences over a drink or two. And what could be a better way of confronting those differences than doing so being a tad drunk? “Come on, they already love each other. So, I think it will be a healthy conversation. And, even if they fight, my guess is they won’t remember it when they wake up,” Katie chuckles.
Spending those enigmatic nights sitting on your favorite couch glugging Glenlivet may be bad for your liver but they are certainly good for your relationship. Well, sort of. A study published in ‘The Journals of Gerontology Series B: Psychological Series’ actually found that couples who drink alcohol together report a less negative relationship quality over time.
Moreover, another study claims that couples experience greater sexual satisfaction as well as more social pleasure when the wife drinks alcohol frequently. Perhaps instead of arguing “couples who drink together stay together”, you’re better off refilling your wife’s glass?
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Does alcohol lead to better bonding?
Mindy opines that drinking sessions definitely help two people open up more on their thoughts and feelings than they might share otherwise. Fights don’t tend to erupt unless and until the character of the person supports fighting in any situation.
Even if sitting over drinks for a discussion does lead to a fight, it’s healthy to air out the differences in opinions. “What’s the point of being with someone if you can’t talk with that person about issues that matter to you and vice versa?” asks Devlin, who believes that it’s not a good idea to be with someone with whom you have fundamental differences, that too regarding major aspects of life. Perhaps, before getting drunk together, figure out how to stop fighting.
“And even if you are, sharing opinions over a few drinks cannot be a deal-breaker, can it? Why do we think of fights as being scary? At times, they also bring people together, help in clearing out suppressed angst, and lead to improved communication,” Devlin feels.
Drink together, stay together. Simple, right?
While “couples that drink together stay together” looks enticing on the surface, it’s no surprise that drinking too much can often spell doom for relationships as well. Couples drinking starts off with parties every weekend, but can soon turn into problems that can even lead to communication barriers.
All said and done, most of the better halves think the other way round. Beatrice fears that a discussion on fundamental differences should not be over drinks since alcohol could make the couple misinterpret each other. Beatrice’s doubts are not baseless since it is proven scientifically that alcohol can also have a negative effect when drinking is not in moderation.
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Alcohol lowers your inhibitions by working on the brain, leading you to say something during an argument that you may possibly come to regret. That being said, there’s no denying that getting drunk together (in moderation!) is always fun. Who wouldn’t want to chuckle at the stupidest jokes, dancing at the cheesiest songs?
So what are you waiting for? Now that you know couples who drink together stay together, stock up on your choice of poison and drink away, but do so responsibly. You still have responsibilities to tend to the next morning, tackling them with a hangover is just going to make you hate yourself. Even so, drink up, dear couples — it may save your relationship.
According to studies, the quality of marriage appeared to be a little less satisfying in relationships where one person drank and the other didn’t. Even so, just because one person drinks and the other doesn’t, it doesn’t mean your relationship is never going to work. Through healthy, open communication, there’s nothing you can’t work past. So, a relationship in which one person drinks and the other doesn’t can most definitely work.
The fundamentals of a relationship help a couple stay together. There needs to be mutual respect, love and trust. Moreover, it’s incredibly important in every relationship to show how much you care for each other through ways of showing affection. Ps, having a drink or two together never hurts.