You sent a text and they didn’t reply and you send another text only to discover your double text left on read. After two unanswered texts should you send a follow up text? If you do then you are ending up double texting.
Ever liked someone so much that you’ve texted them on and on until they reply? You begin with one text and it keeps following. Before you know it, you’ve sent your date 10 texts in 2 hours without any reply from the other end! Yes, double texting can get a bit mad, especially if you are desperate for an answer.
That’s exactly one of the big no-nos in the dating rulebook, and not to forget the rules of texting while dating as well. If you do this, before you know it, you’re ghosted.
Twenty first century dating has its perks but double texting may make you hide your face and run. So here’s how it starts. You get to know someone and before you know it, you see yourself on a date with them. You feel like wanting to know more about them and wait for them to text you. But dating alert! He/she doesn’t text you back.
You text them, they give one reply and your heart jumps with joy. After exchanging a few texts, they stop replying. You keep texting them but there’s no reply from their end. By the end of it, you come off as clingy and desperate for their attention. Yeah you double texted them and failed.
What Is Double Texting?
So what is double texting? Double texting is a slang for texting someone multiple times till he/she replies. You begin with waiting for his reply. After a lot of thinking and boredom kicking in, you text them first.
Your date still doesn’t reply and you text them again. Yeah, you just double texted them. When there is a waiting period between two texts that is not punctuated by a reply, it is called double texting.
Double texting doesn’t just happen in the beginning of a conversation. It can also happen when a conversation is about to die or the other person begins to lose interest in you, leaving you hanging, desperate for replies.
People usually end up double texting an ex because they feel they would reply for old times sake, but when they don’t you get more desperate.
Related Reading: How To Respond To A Breakup Text
How long should you wait before double texting?
According to a study conducted by a dating app called Hinge, you should wait for 4 hours until you send your second text. This increases the chances of your date to text, and you don’t come off as clingy and desperate.
The next time you ask yourself, how long should you wait before double texting? Keep this in mind. Even if this is your first date, you need to give considerable time to your partner before you start texting.
When a guy double texts you it could mean that an unanswered text has bruised his ego. When a girl double texts you it could be that she is getting anxious and feels ignored.
Examples of double texting:
X: Hi! How are things going?
X: Hey! Hope everything is okay.
Y: I really enjoyed the date last night.
Y: Did you enjoy with me as much I enjoyed with you?
5 Pros Of Double Texting
You are perhaps desperate to start a conversation with a girl through text. We get that. So you try to get her attention. Well, it is double texting but its not always a bad thing. Double texting doesn’t always have to show your date that you are clingy and desperate.
You can show how much interested you are in them in a subtle yet effective way. Here are 5 pros of double texting.
1. You can easily restart a conversation
If you notice that the conversation is hitting a dead end, you can easily restart the conversation by double texting your date. You can show your date that you always have topics up your sleeve to talk about.
Moreover, he/she will also notice that you’re interested in continuing the conversation with them. Whenever you find the conversation hitting a dead end, you can begin your double text by saying, “I just remembered to ask you something, completely off the topic. Do you know someone who can help me write a good CV? “ If they don’t answer immediately you can always write, “I am looking for their professional services.”
2. You can show you care
Some guys surprisingly like girls who double text. Yes, that’s also very true. They say that those girls who double text show less amount of attitude and arrogance in comparison to the others who send single texts and late replies.
They like it that the other girl shows how interested she is in him and the fact that she cares about him enough to keep texting him. You can use phrases like, “Hey, was just checking up on you,” to keep it casual but warm. Chances are he won’t reply just to see how interested you are. Text again. If you are to understand the double texting rules then we would advice you to leave it here. If he doesn’t reply let it be. But chances are he would.
3. You show that you won’t give up
Some people like guys/girls who don’t give up on texting them even if they don’t reply. At this point, they are just testing you to see how interested you are in them.
So if your date is not replying to you, there are chances that he/she is testing how much you are into them. And at this point if you show that you’re not willing to give up, voila! You’ve got yourself another date.
But the double texting rules are like walking on the edge all the time. One wrong move and you could come across as needy. So ensure you keep that thin line that demarcates genuine interest from clinginess, intact.
Related Reading: What Are Some Good First Date Questions To Get To Know Someone?
4. They feel like you are genuine
Let’s be honest. All of us feel like double texting our dates when we are interested in them. Only some of us actually show our true colours. Then how can you say that they aren’t thinking of double texting themselves?
Some are able to show restraint while others give in and show the white flag. If your date is one who shows restraint, he/she will like it that you at least had the guts to show your genuine interest through double texting rather than putting up a disinterested front.
At times, double texting could work in your favour. Keep that in mind. So sending a follow up text after two unanswered texts is not all that bad.
5. You might be able to remove their nervousness
Some people don’t text first because of the awkwardness and nervousness that kicks in after the first date. Double texting here actually helps as it removes your dates’ nervousness and acts like an ice breaker.
He/she gets out of their nervousness and you both have a great conversation thanks to double texting. But this doesn’t work if your guy/girl is an extrovert who follows the 3-day rule of the first date. That is you get in touch only after a 3-day gap after a date so that your date doesn’t think you are going ga-ga over them.
5 Cons Of Double Texting
Let’s accept it. In the new era of dating, nobody likes to come off as clingy and desperate. It acts as a big red flag and you can say goodbye to your date. This is something that happens when you double text too much. Here are 5 cons of double texting.
1. You can ruin your chances
Double texting can ruin a perfectly good date. You begin with one text and it keeps following. Before you know it, your date has read all your texts and is ready to hit the block button.
People don’t like their dates being clingy after the first date itself and you’ve done exactly that. You may keep sending them texts like, “Hey, you’re there” and not get any reply from the other end.
Double texting can make your first date your last date as well. So be careful. We know you are anxious for an answer but hold your horses. Don’t ruin your possibilities by getting over anxious.
2. There’s no going back
You must have heard of the proverb,” Words once spoken can never be taken back.” Well, that proverb was made for a reason because once you double text, you can’t take the texts back.
You may delete them, but it will leave a big trail of deleted messages behind. You need to think carefully before you double text.
Read them properly before you press the send button because otherwise, you’ll end up feeling stupid later on. You might be thinking you are sending a follow up text after no response, but the person you are sending it to might have developed a fear of double texting.
Why? Because it has happened to them so many times before and they just run from it.
3. They could find it annoying
In the beginning, they might choose to ignore your double texting, but if it becomes a habit, they could find it annoying and start avoiding you. You need to know when to stop double texting and have a normal conversation with your date.
Keep it breezy and casual. Reply only when your date replies, even though it makes you crazy inside. Also, wait for 5-10 minutes before sending your reply.
4. They could move on
If they were interested in you and were planning to text you or ask you out again, seeing a plethora of text messages will freak them out.
They won’t want to be with someone acting like their boyfriend/girlfriend straight after the first date. You will come across as being obsessive. They will look the other way and move on from you.
Just imagine yourself in their place and find yourself reading a dozen texts saying “Hey” and “What’s ups”. How would you feel?
5. You could end up barking
For those who don’t know what barking is, here’s a conversation for you:
The urge to double text makes you do some crazy things and such a thing is barking. You’ll end up sending him/her one sentence in multiple texts and you’ll just end up barking like a little puppy with no response from the other end. Barking is a big turn off for the recipient.
These are examples of double texting that you should never indulge in.
How do I stop double texting?
So, how do I stop double texting? How do I stop the urge to keep texting someone till he/she replies? If you want to stop double texting, you need to learn some texting and dating etiquette.
Look them up and prevent yourself from making a fool of yourself. For starters, only double text when you really have to. Not just because you want to. Think a 1000 times before sending a double text.
Wait for minimum 5-6 hours before you send another text. It’s better to not send any text at all though. Each message that you send will make you come off as desperate and annoying which is something you don’t WANT. Look up the dos and don’ts of texting before you text again.
There are some people who like to receive double texts because they like the attention or feel a person is genuinely interested in them. Otherwise the downside of double texting is it might make you look desperate and clingy and that is not really good for you.
Depends on the person. Receiving a double text once or twice is fine but if this becomes the pattern of texting then it can get really annoying.
The rules of double texting are you should wait for at least 4 hours, maybe more, before you shoot another text.
The best way to stop double texting is deal with your anxiety issues. Most often we become so anxious about not getting a reply that we double text. Distract yourself and don’t keep thinking about the text, get on with your life then you wouldn’t have the urge to keep texting.