You often dream about your ex-boyfriend when you haven’t had closure or you are not over them yet. For some of us, the relationship was so toxic, that we are still carrying the scars and the recurring dreams are signs of our trauma.
It is but natural to want to move on – either through a rebound, casual dating or by being in a full-fledged romantic relationship again. But before we do that, we have to understand why we are dreaming about our ex-boyfriend again, that too with his new lover. When an ex appears in your dream, it happens so more than because you’re just missing them. There is a deeper issue here.
If there has been no closure, it might be that your subconscious is nudging you to have that conversation with your former partner – if you think that you have unfinished business with them and need to have a conversation with them to get that peace of mind, by all means, do so.
Why Are You Dreaming About Your Ex-Boyfriend?
You are either the dumper or the dumpee in a relationship. Yes, breakups can be amicable but if they were in your case, would you be dreaming about them…that too with your ex? If you are the dumper, then chances are that your ego doesn’t want your ex to date others and be happy; if you are the dumpee, you are still heartbroken and want them back.
Are you asking yourself, “Why am I dreaming about my ex even though I’m over him?” Well something really sensitive could be happening here. There are some reasons why he is invading your dreams and sometimes you are even seeing his present girl in your dreams. Why is this happening? Let us tell you.
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1. Thinking about the breakup
When you have consistently thought about the breakup and assessing what you could have done better, then it’s not unnatural to dream about your ex. Clearly, there is a whole host of unresolved issues at your end which is why you could be seeing your ex with someone else in a dream.
You start fantasizing about him with another woman – and imagine them doing all the things that you couldn’t do as a couple. This is all happening because you are unable to still let him go. You have decided that you want this breakup but your heart has not yet agreed to the same.
2. Wanting to be recognized can lead to dream about ex- boyfriend
You might be still hopeful that your ex will recognize that you were the one for him and come running back to you. And that’s why you think about him with another woman who is less capable than you when it comes to making him happy. Secretly, you want him to have the same realization.
When you dream about an ex-boyfriend with a new girlfriend, it could be because you want to a draw a comparison between who he could be with you and who he will be with a new girl. And obviously, you believe that he would be far happier with you. So when you see the new girl, all you really see is the happiness that he is missing out on that you should have been able to give him.
3. Your self-esteem is wounded
Overthinking is one of the reasons for dreaming about an ex with his new partner. You might start comparing your past relationship with his current relationship and then it will be a vicious circle of regret, guilt and heartache all over again.
When, in your dreams, you see an ex-boyfriend happy with a new girlfriend, you feel a sense of frustration and guilt for missing out on him and letting him go. Your anger stems from a self-esteem problem that this breakup has created. Letting him go feels like the biggest mistake of your life and everyday, you feel smaller and even more insignificant because of it.
Related Reading: Expert Advice On Coping With Feeling Empty After A Breakup
4. Same shit, different girl
If it was a toxic relationship, you are worried that the new woman will have to undergo the same trauma that you went through. Things will be rosy initially but eventually the relationship will turn sour like it happened in your case. It’s too awkward for you to warn her and all this anxiety is making you dream.
So when you are seeing your ex with someone else in a dream, this could actually just mean that you are worried for the new person that he dates. This does not necessarily have anything to do with your own heartbreak or trauma but it is just plain concern for the next girl.
5. The beginning of the end
Maybe your subconscious is trying to show you that your ex has moved on and it’s time for you to move on too. By showing you a dream about your former flame and his new partner, your unconscious is helping you grasp the reality of the situation.
This can actually be a good thing for you. So if you’re thinking, “If I dream about my ex, does it mean he misses me?”, girl, put those thoughts to rest right away. He does not miss you and it might be time for you stop missing him as well. Realize that you lead two separate lives now and can allow other partners into your new lives.
Related Reading: How to Move On Without Closure? 8 Ways To Help You Heal
6. Being ready to move on can cause dreams about ex boyfriend
You are probably ready to let go and see yourself in a new and healthy relationship. You are having a dream about an ex-boyfriend with a new girlfriend because you are afraid that you will make the same mistakes once again in your new relationship. You don’t want history to repeat itself and hence these dreams are occurring.
So it is possible that when an ex appears in your dream, it has nothing to do with your wounded heart but has more to do with you being scared of the future. Your dream about an ex-boyfriend does not mean that you are holding on to him but could mean that he is pushing you in the right direction. However, your own self doubt is holding you back as you might be undergoing some new relationship anxiety.
There’s no reason to feel guilty or ashamed because you still dream about an ex-boyfriend. You shared intimate moments together, created memories and probably dreamt about sharing a life together for the long term. It’s not easy to forget these kind of things and just move on.
Sadly, there is no biblical meaning of dreaming about your ex, because that would indeed make things much simpler. But there are a wide range of reasons that we listed above that could be the cause for you still seeing him in your dreams. Now it is your turn to put in the work, dissect these reasons, understand yourself and figure out what exactly you are channeling that is making you see dreams of an ex-boyfriend happy with his new girlfriend.
Related Reading:How To Move On After My Boyfriend Got Married To Someone Else?
Dreams About Ex Boyfriend – How To Make It Stop?
To let go of seeing your ex with someone else in a dream, acknowledge that there might still be loose ends on your end and you dealing with jealousy and don’t want to see another girl with your former partner or you don’t want her to go through what you did. If it’s the latter, it’s not your responsibility to guide her – as what might have not worked for you might work for her. Each situation is unique and each kind of love can be different.
Irrespective of the reason of your dreams – these recurring dreams start becoming problematic after a while. Work on yourself and your issues – visit a therapist, opt for meditation, talk to friends for a clear perspective on things, document your feelings in a journal and one fine day you will wake up and realize that it was never meant to be – you and your ex were just not right for each other.
Once you have made the peace within yourself and gotten the closure you need, you will no more dream about your ex boyfriend with his new girlfriend.
And that’s when it will stop completely. There’s plenty of other fish in the sea. Even if one relationship didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that your future ones will also incur the same fate. Have hope, be brave and carry on! Our panel of therapists are only a click away to help you.
When an ex appears in your dream, it is no coincidence. It is possible that you are still not over your ex or there has been lack of closure. If it’s the latter, the best way to deal with it is to have a heart-to-heart chat with him and close the chapter for once and all.
Seeing your ex with someone else in a dream can be a difficult experience to process. If contacting your ex is not the best option for you, then you can always reach out to friends and even contact a therapist if it’s coming in the way of your day-to-day life. Writing down your feelings can be cathartic as well.
Are you asking yourself, “Why dreaming about my ex even though I’m over him?” It’s because you are not over him yet. You just want to be and that is why you have assumed that you are. Don’t force yourself to move on, be patient and give yourself time. Work on your issues and try to be the best version of yourself. Gradually when you will learn to let go, the dreams will stop occurring.