Do you think that love is a valid reason for marriage? Do you think love is permanent?
Love is a valid reason, but not the only thing for a marriage.
The permanency of love is debatable. In the sense, it is always open to interpretation and cannot be solely weighed by the mere intensity of it.
Do you think that the way you feel love towards your partner has changed over the years?
Always. Love, like a river, has a course.
Do you view marriage, as we currently know it, as an institution to be preserved, or do you feel that it should change with the times? What changes would you recommend?
Not sure. I think marriages have changed quite a bit, become rather evolved. Yet, I feel we shouldn’t touch with the institution, but leave it to couples to chart their destiny.
Related reading: I’m happy to help her find herself
How do you see the impermanence of love and permanence of marriage coming together?
By being expressive and understanding the other’s needs and wants and follies with the utmost sensitivity.
What does ‘giving space’ in a relationship mean to you?
Allowing one the moment of complete introspection. Not giving into what gets channelled in the heat of the moment.
Do you think that maintaining privacy has placed in a committed relationship?
Sometimes, sometimes not.
Related reading: Space in the relationship
Now that you look back what do you think are the biggest mistakes you made in your relationship? Talk about the ones that had a deep impact. What would you do differently now? If given a choice what would you change about your relationship and why?
Not giving them enough time to mature.
What do you fear most about your relationship? Are there conflicts that you’ve avoided in the relationship? What do you fear would happen if you confronted them?
It’s a bit of a Catch-22 situation. Essentially, the fear that you’ll end up regretting something. As someone said, “Don’t put all your eggs in one bastard.”
Numerous studies maintain that human beings are not meant to be monogamous yet we all crave for it. What do you feel about it?
Monogamy adds permanence in one’s relationship.
Fidelity…. the much-talked-about term, what does it mean to you? Emotional/ physical fidelity which is more important to you and why?
One should not confuse physical fidelity with emotional fidelity as most people do. Emotional fidelity, I feel, is far more revealing of a relationship. Physical, one should review with utmost care.
Is it possible to have a committed relationship not defined by sexual fidelity?
Yes. One should take note from most homosexual relationships.
Do you think, “One must be able to accept a husband’s casual infidelity” and “One must be able to accept a wife’s casual infidelity?” Why? Why not?
Yes. But not without caution.
What kills desire in marriage? What is the relationship between desire and love in marriage?
Desire, I think, fuels the love. Without it, you feel a void, and perhaps things are not right.
Women are challenging the patriarchal view of sexuality at the same time they are expressing and asserting their self-defined sexual rights and needs. Do you agree? Please expand.
I agree. These are diabolical times. A lot of accepted social structures need to be challenged.
Are Indian men good lovers? Democratic in sex?