I was first introduced to ‘sexy’ by a friend in my early teenage years, who clearly stated that only hourglass figured women are considered ‘sexy’. Alas! How heartbroken I became on hearing this. It meant I could never be ‘sexy’ for I was fat.
My perspective towards life has changed with time. Every connotation I have come across holds a different new meaning. ‘Sexy’ is supposed to arouse the butterflies within you, and make you go in awe . Now, this has made me think many times in different ways as to who should fall under this cover.
The first ‘figure’ that I always see is my mother. I have found her manage the home and please the countless relatives we have almost single-handed.The sight has always given me ‘butterflies’ in my stomach, as I have wondered from where could she get so much strength and smile. This has probably for the first time, deconstructed the myth of ‘sexy’ to me. Being ‘sexy’ has nothing to do with the physical attributes. It is more of inner strength and beauty.
‘Beauty with brains’ is a tough combination, and when that beauty glows from within, it is really something to notice. I, therefore, am least aroused by ‘figures’ which can be man-made sculptures, meant to draw attention and awe. In fact, those who are truly ‘sexy’ are least bothered about looks. It’s their ordinariness that is beautiful. Mind it, I completely appreciate a fit and healthy body.
Despite being in 2017, we still come across advertisements for ‘fair and bright’ looks – be it beauty products or matrimonial ads. A plus-size woman, like me, still somewhere is made to feel guilty about her body. Although, the groom’s family claims an educated, preferably convent educated woman, post marriage and especially childbirth, it’s better that she stays at home. In short, even today, ‘sexiness’ resides in how the society interprets a woman. It’s further saddening that women themselves, fall prey to all these illusions.
Contrary to the popularity of women as commodities, there are examples of strong women leaving their mark thru their works and gestures.
Indira Gandhi’s self-confidence, reflected in her posture and figure, was mesmerizing.
Mother Teresa’s warm smile has been her biggest asset.
In Bengal we worship Sarada Maa (wife of the notable preacher Ramkrishna), whose simple preaching drew the masses to her even though her were looks were naive and she was completely a village woman.
There are countless instances of notable women whose inner strength has made them ‘sexy’.
I recently came across a story on a woman, whose body had suffered burns, photo shooting with her breastfed child. I found her more sexy than countless models and celebrities wearing makeups and tailor made bodies, posing in front of the camera?
On a personal front I have many women friends who are ‘different’ from the crowd. While one has rejected marriage for the love of canine friends, another is independent and happy traveling to beat the monotony of life. There is one who has remarried, taking a courageous step to separate from a villain.Again, one of my married friends is still without a child! After a divorce, another one is happy to get back her previous jovial self. All these instances don’t make them least ‘sexy’. I feel proud to have them in my life, inspiring me to be just myself.
Another video going viral on the internet is Sunny Leone in Kochi. Frankly speaking, I felt ashamed and disgusted seeing her enjoying a sea of men ogling at her. This is not ‘modern’ and neither ‘sexy’.
Here, I should also like to point out two Bengali TV soaps where the leading ladies have donned different hats, one a detective and the other one masks herself as Kaali Maa, to destroy monsters. Although the concepts are refreshing, they are absolutely perfect and sanskari along with their gaudy makeup and extravagant sarees still highlight the need to portray women as ‘all-perfect’, especially looks. There are hardly films made in India, focusing on women in a pivotal role. They are still meant to woo audience in the most vulgar ways possible.
Even I would like to point out to the baselessness of the very recent 12 am midnight selfie frenzy. There’s no need to draw the light on oneself. Freedom from bias and prejudice can happen only when our mindsets change. Freedom should mean bravely accepting sour lemons and turning them into lemonades;learning and applying self-defence techniques; remaining self dependent as long as possible; helping people to change for better, and similar goals. The need of the hour is to be satisfied with the unmasked pure self-wherever and whatever.
At this point I would also like to point towards the constant focus on crimes against women. Yes, rapes is a sad reality but aren’t there women who look more ravishing in their powerful fight and stand against these criminals? Why can’t there be more news, films, TV soaps and stories about real sexy women instead of the daily same old crap?
When I came across this quote ‘strong women are sexy’, I felt exactly the way I expressed above. How true! Every strong woman is sexy but the other side is not always true, for looks are fleeting.