I am 29 years old and in a long-distance relationship with a 27-year-old girl, whom I got to know through a matrimonial site. Then we started Facebook dating and after a month we exchanged our phone numbers and started talking on the phone. This went on for about a month or two and then I met her.
I told her about all my past relationships but she told me that she had no past and she was looking for a person to marry. She always said that she didn’t trust men and that was why she had never got into a relationship. She said she didn’t want to get cheated by someone after getting into a relationship.
I felt she might have had a bad experience in the past and kept on insisting that she should tell me and we could sort out her feelings. But she kept on saying that there is no such thing called love in this generation and everyone wants to be only in a physical relationship.
I got to know later that she was talking to and even Facebook dating some other boys and among them one was from her area only. She was even sending him messages with kiss emoticons. I was very angry.
She explained to me that she talked to this boy because her mother wanted her to marry him. He was a local boy and well-settled.
She told me she loved me and that she would talk to her parents for me after I got a good job. Later I also got to know that she was in a physical relationship with the same guy.
I feel cheated, I feel bothered about the fact that she lied to me and also about her sexual history. I have become obsessed with her and I keep checking when she is active online and I get suspicious about her.
Now she is saying that we need to sort out all this and we should be together. I keep thinking only about her but I do get upset that she lied to me. But I am so much into her I can’t focus on anything else, even my career.
What should I do? Please help.
Life coach Joie Bose says:
Hello 29 year old man,
Firstly you are acting like a baby, forgive me for saying this. You are crying inside your heart. What’s done can’t be changed and it is something that will consume you forever. Look at it like this, what do they say about spilt milk? There is no point crying over it.
You are simple and you deserve someone who will not manipulate you and she seems to be messing with your heart. Facebook dating, phone calls and meeting a few times hardly help you to know a person well. I suggest you close her chapter and move on. Things are just too complicated. You will suffer even more if you continue in this relationship.
All the best, my dear.
Love and light,