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Fight fair, fight Right. Think before you fight with your spouse

 

Last week, I met with my college friend after a very long time. We started or girly chit-chat and once again recall our college day’s memories. During our conversation, I asked about her husband and kid and as usual as a typical Indian wife, she told me that everything is going good with not so good tone. It was not her kind of answer to my question. Then suddenly she broke into tears, her throat choked and eyes filled with tear. She told me that her marriage is going through a rough patch and she doesn’t know what to do. She told that there is not a single day when she did not had a fight/argument with her husband.

The first thing, I asked what are the reasons for her fight? I asked her are you really fighting fair and right? She replied, Yes, and asked what do you mean by fighting right? We are not kids that we start fighting over anything and everything. But, still I was not very much convinced because at times we forget that we are not fighting fair and fighting right. We just want to fight to satisfy our high egos and never mind to lead the arguments to any extreme extents. Therefore, it is always better to fight fair and fight right. As a couple it is important to have small arguments and fights, it gives a fresh life to your relationship and brings you closer. It gives you sense that you are touching your spouse for the very first time and you like that touch and sense of love and care. So, of course, fighting is important to speak up your mind and to make other understand that every time it is not important to say ‘Yes’. Let’s talk a few more reasons to fight fair and fight right to make your married life happy and blissful.

Don’t fight with your spouse just for the sake of fighting. It is not good to fight every time. Fighting is always right if you are fighting for the valid reason. If you are annoyed and irritated with something else, then don’t throw your frustration on your spouse. For instance, if you are stressed with your office work or worried about your deadlines, then don’t release your office stress on your wife.

Don’t fight on the old stale topics. Let’s take a scenario, if you are not happy with her behavior what she did in front of your friends or family. Just mention that in a constructive way, rather than reminding her ten other instances as well. Something might be irritating you a lot and you want to make it clear to your spouse, clear it and speak up your mind. But, don’t drag the old stale topics in between to heat-up the argument.

Avoid such talks and discussions which lead to heated arguments and clashes. As a couple, you are always aware of such topics that you really don’t like. Simply avoid them and throw them in bin. For instance, as a couple you are very much aware of the topic which can be turned fiery like discussing financial matters, shopping, investment, purchasing something new, guest hosting and many more.

 

Don’t fight in front of your family, friends and kids. Nobody wants to see the fighting couple. So keep your fights for bedroom only. Let think it differently, if you are fighting in front of your family, they will give you their own suggestions and try to make you understand what they think about your situation, which is actually not good. It will give a new direction to your fight.

Always fight with a ‘STOP’ button. Yes, you read it right. When you think that your discussion or argument is going in another direction or you think that it is not fair enough to fight, use your ‘STOP’ button be it a hug, or a kiss and close the topic.

When you think that things are out of control and want to stop that fight, then use your magical tough. You will realize that within fraction of seconds everything will be normal. If you think that a simple kiss on his/her lips can shut the argument don’t hesitate to do that. If you think your close hug can make him feel relaxed and end up your fight go ahead and do it.

Learn to laugh during the fights. When you are fighting with your spouse, it is not necessary to make the tensed and complicated faces, rather enjoy the laughter therapy and end your argument. One of friend has a habit of cracking joke and at times when he is in between of a heated argument to divert the discussion he just say something funny and end the whole conversation with laughter.

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