If you feel lucky that you are the first one to become a bride among your friends, then you must also brace yourself for a lot of pressure from your peers. It not only changes your relationship status from single to married, but it affects every aspect of your life. You move in with someone else, you change your routine, you start a new life, and it’s a new feeling altogether.
Getting married is an exciting and beautiful process that should be enjoyed to the fullest! Being a new bride is scary, joyful and life-changing – all at once. But you can trust your girl friends to be your loyal support system while you are going through this transition.
So don’t give up on the old relationships for the new one; move forward with your life in grace. If you are the first bride among your friends, then enjoy the journey with them by your side as this is one of the most exciting chapters in your life and you should be living every second of it.
You Will Relate To This If You Are The First To Marry Among Your Girl Friends
Vinita Paul told us, “I was the first one to have a marriage among my friends. My conservative parents thought I had to get married at 21 to a stark stranger in an arranged match. While I was dying of nervousness thinking of how my life would unfold, for my girl friends they had the first bride in the girl gang and they were thoroughly excited and had an absolute blast at my wedding as my bridesmaids.”
But Vinita had not quite braced herself for a few realizations that being the first bride in the group would bring to her. As such, she didn’t know what to expect from her marriage after the wedding but neither did she think that being the first one to get married among her friends would make her face such situations.
Here are some realistic circumstances you might have to be prepared for if you are the first bride in your group of friends.
Related Reading: 7 Things A Girl Should Do With Her Bestie Before Getting Married
1. Moaning bridesmaid
As soon as you announce your marriage, as the first bride in the group, your friends will start their celebrations. On the day of your wedding you will definitely hear some wailing and moaning from your bridesmaids on the lines of the popular song, “Tera hua abh mera kaya hoga?”
Your marriage will make them think about their relationships and life choices. Some will wonder when or whether they will ever get married. You can even expect some healthy jealousy and complaints from your girl friends. They will compare your fiancé with their partner and evaluate their life.
Don’t bother about that, at the end of the day they are happy for the to-be bride, though you will have definite moments of doubt about it.
NOTE: The best option is to give them something to do in the ceremony; that’ll keep their mind off other things. This way they will have less time and energy to ponder over their messy relationships and more time to join in your happiness.
2. Information desk
Once you are the first one who is married among your friends, you become the source for information for the rest of your girl friends. Be it the location for the marriage or the perfect honeymoon spot, you have become the supreme authority on those details.
Enjoy it while you can, as the rest of them are soon going to join your ranks.
From how to budget for a wedding to what to buy for the trousseau of the bride to what works better in an arranged marriage or a love marriage, being the first bride in your group you will be expected to be the expert in everything.
NOTE: If they believe you are the expert, don’t disappoint them. Share your experiences, feelings with your bridesmaids and help them get their own boats sailing just like you came and conquered as a super bride.
3. Be ready for the intimate questions
Your bridesmaids could ask you anything and everything about intimacy. If you are the first bride in your girl friends group you could end up having to give answers to questions like what lingerie you packed on your honeymoon, if you thought your man was a virgin and what was the first night like?
Be ready to field questions on married sex – like how many times you make out and what is it like waking up together with a man every day?
NOTE: You should be ready to answer the questions with a stoic face no matter how many intimate details they want to know. Take things lightly and share your experiences staying comfortable at the same time, without minding the dirty questions.
Related reading: 10 Annoying Things That I Learnt About While Planning My Own Wedding
4. Girls’ night out
After marriage, your priorities surely change. So you may keep cancelling or delaying appointments with your girl friends. But trust me when I say that it won’t be taken in good spirit by your friends. They will not understand your predicament unless they go through the same thing themselves i.e. until they also become a new bride.
In life, those who matter never mind and those who mind never matter. Remember that and choose wisely to keep only those friends close.
So, in the first year of marriage you might have to forget the night out with the girls but as you settle down in your new life, you could resume those gradually.
NOTE: We advise you to balance out your priorities and give time to both your partner as well as your girl friends. This way you can live your life to the fullest, and ensure that you are not overlooking or upsetting any valuable person in your life.
5. Safe space
After marriage, you are definitely considered an adult by your unmarried girl friends. So whenever they are in trouble, they will think of you for solace and valuable advice.
Your home would become a parent-free, safe space for them and you should be prepared for some unwanted guests from time to time.
NOTE: Try to be there for your friends and don’t let them down if they are in dire need of your help. After your marriage, and being a bride, you will surely have come across a whole lot of new situations and can help your girl friends too.
Related reading: 7 Reasons To Have Your Own Friend Circle Distinct From Your Spouse
6. Best bachelorette night
You will receive the best bachelorette party. All other bachelorette parties that will come after yours will always be compared but never surpass yours.
That is because in your party it will be a bunch of single people and your pretty bridesmaids having the time of their life since you are their first friend to get married.
But all others bachelorette parties would include married people with responsibilities, refusing to sip vodka into the wee hours.
NOTE: So, we advise you to shed your worries as a to-be bride for that one night and have all the fun you can with your girl friends. Before marriage, this night celebrates the last of your singlehood and this night is all yours and your friends to live.
7. Matrimony association
If you get married first among your friends, you become someone who has joined the club of elites. Your girl friends would look up to you and would want you to fix them up with someone.
They would believe that you have some magical access to eligible bachelors and will urge you to help them out. Marriage is something some people don’t understand without experiencing it.
Note: So, even if it gets on your nerves at some (read most) times, please cut them some slack. They are yet to understand that marriage and becoming a bride is totally different but you don’t turn a matchmaker overnight.
8. Universal approval
The one who becomes the first to get married among her friends becomes the glowing example to parents. All the parents of all your friends will use your example to nudge their own kids towards marriage and your girl friends in turn will use your name to get approval for everything.
Be it a short trip with their partner or a night out, they will use your name to get approval from their parents. It’s just common sense that if a married woman is in the group, she will be more responsible than others. Common sense is not always true, but the illusion is very useful.
Note: Handling such tasks becomes a pain when quite frequently, your friend’s parents call you up to confirm their kid’s whereabouts and you having to cover up for them. But, trust us, enjoy the limelight and praises while you can because soon enough, one of your bridesmaids too is going to be a bride and take some portion of this away.
Related Reading: Everything About The 9 Types Of Marriages In India
9. Clothes lender
This is funny but true. Being the first bride in your group you become everyone’s go-to girl for fancy clothes fit for every occasion. If you think that all the sarees you received at your wedding as gifts belong exclusively to you, then you are undoubtedly wrong.
Now that you own a bunch of them, your girl friends will designate you as the official saree lender for every auspicious occasion.
NOTE: Don’t be afraid, we know your hearts will skip a beat every time they take one of your precious sarees away but rest assured, they will even return those sarees unharmed. And if you are sure that any one of your friends is not responsible enough or has hurt one of your sarees in the past, girl, there are enough excuses in the world.
10. The first baby
If along with the first marriage you have the first child in the group, then God may help you to raise your child without a bunch of pampering aunties around. Your kid will not run out of gifts, toys and clothes ever.
You will always find someone to babysit for you. And the best part is your friends will be around you just like the day you became a bride, as they are yet to shoulder these responsibilities.
They would also help you out if you find it hard to handle your marriage and the baby all at once. They will be around when you are alone and need company.
NOTE: So, don’t worry and fret, you will learn things along the way and your girl friends are always there to learn with you and help you out.
So, being a bride first and being a mother first does have its perks, so enjoy your married life and things will get better with a little help from your amazing friends. Also, now that you have a much better idea on how to tackle these ten probable scenarios, we are pretty sure you are going to slay it as a bride and a subsequent wife and mother.
1. What are the reasons bridesmaids feel upset when the first girl in the gang gets married?
There are a plethora of feelings and the bad ones include realizing that you are actually old enough to get married, the thought that your best friend is going to have other important people in life now, and of course, the concern what you should be doing with your life as it’s your turn.
2. What are the things that make bridesmaids happy when the first girl in the gang becomes a bride?
As soon as the to-be bride utters the magical words of shopping, dancing and partying, every one of the bridesmaids is bound to be happy. And of course, there is the epic bachelorette trip to be planned and executed. Bonus points for getting excited thinking about the cute boys at the wedding.
3. What are the best things about getting married first in the group?
Being a first bride comes with a lot of perks. One of them includes no baby drama as none of your friends have babies yet and nobody will ask for warm milk or baby food. Also, you can assign different work to all your friends like a queen. And your minions will run all your errands for you.