Not all relationships end up making it to the happily ever after. Not all the love in the world is meant to last. And that’s okay because love doesn’t just happen once. After a big breakup, it might feel like your life is ending but that’s not true at all. You can move on and be happier eventually. But right now, you probably can’t even get the breakup out of your head. While you navigate the thoughts of how to get over your ex-girlfriend, you might be constantly replaying the breakup in your mind or trying to figure out what you did wrong, so you can make it right.
Many men even face the problem of getting over their ex-girlfriends who cheated on them or dumped them. They feel cheated and betrayed but at the same time, they don’t know how to fall out of love that easily. According to NBC News, “Men take longer to get over their exes and don’t ever get fully over it. Men are more prone to being shocked. The greater the shock of the loss, the longer it takes to recover.”
So while that may be true, it also doesn’t mean that one has to live with the pain of heartbreak. It is important to make peace with what happened, but that can take some time. Ask yourself, do you want to remain with the pain and misery that your ex left you in or forget your ex-girlfriend completely and move on? When you answer the latter in the affirmative, that itself is your first big step.
If you’re keen on making that step toward moving on and being better, then you’ve come to the right place today. With the help of counseling psychologist Kranti Momin (Masters in Psychology), who is an experienced CBT practitioner and specializes in various domains of relationship counseling, let’s look at 15 ways how to get over your ex-girlfriend.
How To Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend Completely? 15 Tips
Getting rid of your ex-girlfriend memories is probably the biggest concern weighing on your mind right now. It is hard to get over an ex you still love, we don’t doubt it. No matter how much you show the world that you don’t care about the breakup, deep down you know how painful it really is.
Most men go straight into the denial zone where they avoid their feelings and then try to move on by getting into a rebound relationship or something else along those lines. The problem with denial and such an approach is that it doesn’t make the pain go away. It might make one blind to it for a while, but it is only a matter of time until the painful feelings resurface and catch you again.
The pain of the heartbreak will still remain and will also affect the next relationship you get into. This is why it’s better to get over it once and for all rather than carrying that emotional baggage around with you. In that case, let’s talk about how to forget your ex-girlfriend once and for all and move on. Here are 15 tips that will help you:
1. Keep away and stay out of touch to get over your ex-girlfriend
“Can we be friends?” is a complete no-no, if you ask us. Especially in the initial days, it is best to avoid staying friends with your ex-girlfriend. After breaking up, women often have the habit of friend-zoning their ex-boyfriends. But for most men, after a breakup, you can’t go back to being friends again. Not so easily. This is why it’s better to stay away from her instead.
No matter how big a role she played in your life, it is better to rip the bandage off once and for all rather than hurting yourself by being around her. Do not agree to be friends with your ex. Constantly being in touch with her will make you always ponder the ‘What if’ questions. What if I apologize to her and we work things out? What if she changes? What if she loves me but is confused right now?
Trust us when we tell you that these are the last things that you need on your mind right now. You miss her, which is why you will always look for reasons to make amends. But it’s time to acknowledge that this relationship is in the past now and you’ve got to hold your head up high and move forward.
2. Avoid places that remind you of her even when you still love her
After breakups, you tend to revisit past memories and think about your relationship. You even tend to go to significant places and relive the moments that you and your ex-girlfriend shared. Alleys where you two shared endless laughs, coffee shops where she used to get her favorite white chocolate mochas or stores where she used to act goofy while shopping – memories are all you have left of her now.
And visiting those same old places only makes you think of her and those memories even more. It is important to avoid going to such places as they will just remind you of her and the time you spent there and make you spiral into thoughts you really do not need. If you want to forget your ex-girlfriend, you need to stop going down that memory lane. Especially when you still love her, you must try to avoid thinking about her as much as you can.
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3. Keep clear of the triggers
If you want to forget your ex-girlfriend completely, then you need to stay away from the triggers that remind you of your ex-girlfriend who cheated on you or dumped you. Whenever there’s something that reminds you of her or your relationship, it is a trigger and you need to quickly make a U-turn.
From seeing her favorite kind of peanut butter at the department store or finding her earring under your pillow, you need to steer clear of it all. Let go of the things she left at your place. From her toothbrush to her tees to her books, it’s time to do away with all of it. Don’t let these triggers make you revisit your past or worse, dwell there. It will only make it much more difficult to move on.
4. How to get over your ex-girlfriend? Try a social media detox
Go on a social media detox, which here means blocking her account or at the very least, resisting the urge of visiting her profile multiple times a day. Visiting her profile might make you miss her less but that will only be for the time being. In the long-term, all you will do is become a crazy stalker.
Avoid the urge to visit her social media profile and hit the block button when it comes to her profile if you think that can be helpful. Stalking your ex is simply a bad idea if you want to forget your ex-girlfriend completely.
5. Talk about it with your friends and family
Kranti says, “Talk to your friends and family about your feelings. Your feelings of emptiness, jealousy all need an outlet at this very time. Since your thoughts are constantly clouded with confusing emotions, you might just let those feelings sit there and feel worse. Instead, allow yourself to vocalize them to process what you are feeling in a much better way.”
The power of spending time with friends and family is truly underrated. As the counselor suggests, it can be beneficial and very helpful to spend time with those who love you. Not only do they know you well but they will also help you realize how worthy of love you really are.
6. Find a new crush to get rid of ex-girlfriend memories
To get over your ex-girlfriend and refrain from thinking about her, you need to occupy your mind with something else, or in this case, ‘someone else’. But pay close attention because we aren’t suggesting that you go out there and become some kind of romance scammer to play around with other people’s feelings.
Instead, this is about distracting your mind from wandering towards your ex. Follow some new celebrity or influencer on social media and develop a new crush. Or even chat up the woman at your rock-climbing class or the girl you often see reading a book at your regular coffee shop.
Crushing on celebrities is harmless and at the same time helps you take your mind off your ex. And a little healthy flirting with those around you will only be good for your self-esteem. So give it a go but know where to draw the line. You don’t want things to become messy and confusing and walk right into another heartbreak.
Related Reading: Why Do Breakups Hit Guys Later?
7. How to forget a girl? Avoid listening to sad/romantic songs
Yup, we’ve all been there. When a breakup hits, you feel the need to stuff your face into a pillow and scream inside it while a sad love song plays in the background. Or you both might have had a “go-to” song that you two danced on in the living room or jammed to in the car together. Mostly after breakups, men start to play those kinds of songs which only make them think about their relationship and breakup even more.
It’s a way of dealing with heartbreak and sometimes, it can actually be beneficial to cry it out. But only for a while. If you want to listen to breakup songs, listen to songs that lighten the mood instead of those that push you down toward the sad and sappy zone. And definitely don’t make a heartbreak playlist for your morning commute to work. This is not a good routine!
8. Spend some quality time alone with yourself
After breakups, people usually prefer to be left alone as they wallow in their “I am unable to forget my ex-girlfriend” thoughts. It is because they don’t want anyone else to see how vulnerable they have become after the breakup. But honestly, one shouldn’t really need a reason to take a break to spend time with themselves.
Kranti suggests, “To get over your ex-girlfriend, it can be helpful to spend time alone with yourself. It allows you to sort out your feelings, process what you are really going through, and figure out a way to deal with that grief. Some days you might feel guilty, other days you might feel anger. Let all those feelings flow. There’s probably a lot going on inside you and spending time alone will help you organize all of that much better.”
Related Reading: How Does A Guy Behave After A Breakup? 11 Things You Didn’t Know
9. How to move on from ex-girlfriend? Avoid calling her constantly
How to move on from ex-girlfriend? Well, definitely don’t spam her with calls or texts. Many times, men can’t resist the urge to drunk dial their ex or send a text to open the breakup chapter all over again. We are all guilty of the same and also know that this kind of behavior just makes things so much worse.
Calling her up or double texting her isn’t going to change things for the two of you. She has made her decision and you’ll have to live with it. Talking to your ex will just make things more complicated and make you think about things that are actually pretty futile. Once you call your ex, you will feel like calling her again and again until she pushes you away forever, which is gonna sting even more later on.
10. Explain the entire story to your friends
When you still love her, it’s not going to be easy to talk about her over and over again and revisit those feelings. But your friends will have many burning questions about your breakup and these questions will just keep coming up at awkward times. It is better to clear the air once and for all so you don’t have to talk about it any more than you need to.
Explain the entire story to your friends and clarify all their doubts once and for all. Have one heavy discussion and that’s it. This will prevent the topic from coming up in the future and you will also feel lighter once you get it out of your system. But once it’s flushed out of your system, try not to find reasons to start talking about it again.
11. To get over your ex-girlfriend who dumped you, keep yourself occupied with other things
It’s not easy to forget someone completely and wash their memories out as if they never existed for you. Forgetting someone isn’t an instant thing one can do. One of the small steps that you can take to get over your ex-girlfriend who dumped you and hurt you is to keep yourself busy and occupied with other things.
Once your mind is occupied with other activities, your thoughts won’t wander off to your ex-girlfriend as much. From going bowling in the evenings to learning how to cook, it’s a start toward a more productive and happy single life. After all, ask yourself, do you want to drown in your sorrows or feel good about yourself again?
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12. Don’t think about taking revenge
A lot of men think that the answer to how to forget a girl lies in getting back at her, hoping that it will make them feel better about the whole thing. But thinking about making your ex-girlfriend jealous or taking revenge will only show her that you are still hung up on her and are unable to move on from her.
Don’t let her have that kind of power over you. Doing nothing is the best option in such a scenario if you are serious about figuring out how to get over your ex-girlfriend. Showing her that you’re at peace with the breakup will make her feel restless and confused. But if you keep trying to get her attention, she will use the same against you and you will be stuck in a toxic cycle.
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13. To get over your ex-girlfriend, ask her for closure
One of the main reasons why it is difficult to forget your ex is that you’ve not got proper closure once your relationship ended. This is what is making you cling to the hope and memories of her. It is very important to get closure after your breakup. Closure helps you understand and realize that there’s no possibility of you and your ex getting back together again.
You will understand the events leading to the breakup more clearly. Once you realize that it’s a dead-end, it will help you move on and forget your ex-girlfriend completely.
Kranti tells us, “Without closure, you might keep going back to a relationship that wasn’t working or isn’t good for you. Getting closure allows you to finally set on the path of becoming your best self. This also helps you in finding a better future partner and you both can form a healthier relationship with each other and with your own self when the time for that is right.”
14. How to move on from ex-girlfriend? Rebrand yourself
If you’ve asked your friends to give you space after the breakup, use this as an opportunity to clear your head instead of playing your breakup in a loop. Spend some alone time with yourself and confront your feelings. Only you can understand how you feel and be honest with your feelings. Own how you feel instead of running away from it. This will help you sort out your feelings and you will feel lighter.
Kranti says, “For healing yourself, it’s not just about being occupied in other tasks. It’s also important to realize that you are going through something important in your life. Take it as a lesson that will teach you to become closer to yourself. Focus on your mental health and new activities for your own well-being.”
15. How to get over your ex-girlfriend? Try new things
Your “I am unable to forget my ex-girlfriend” complaints need to end. You need to divert your energies from thinking about her to doing something much better with your time instead. Why think of this breakup as such a bad thing? Think of it as a golden period in your life where you get to explore things around you and explore yourself like never before.
This is the time to think about yourself and what YOU want. Take trips with your friends and have new adventures. This time is all about trying new things and having new experiences. It will help you take a break from your boring and routine life and you will feel like a new person at the end of it.
Breakups aren’t easy for anyone. Especially when someone you loved, dumped you for someone else or cheated on you. Getting over them isn’t something that is easy but it all starts with taking the first step. And then you will figure out what to do next.
You can’t forget someone unless you want to. Once you make up your mind that you want to forget her, follow these 15 ways and you’ll get her out of your system sooner than you think. Most importantly, you will heal from the breakup and start focusing on yourself and your close ones more.