Funny definitions of marriage on Twitter

couple fighting

Not all marriage advice is serious

Marriage is falling asleep in the midst of snores and a very expensive way to get your laundry done for free. A shared sense of humor makes difficult situations easy and makes the marriage last longer and better.

On Twitter, we found, couples tweeting about their partners, giving a clear cut picture that marriage is more than what they show us in the movies. The tweets are so apt, not disrespectful to either party and relatable to the adorable drama in a marriage.

We have the 10 most hilarious tweets which pretty much sums up the word ‘marriage’ and what it is really about:

1. Marriage – a concoction of emotions

I need you to be spontaneous. Be predictable. I need intimacy. Give me my space. Load the dishwasher. Not like that.

Marriage - a concoction of emotions
Marriage – a concoction of emotions

2. Sexy talk? What sexy talk?

[rolls over in bed and whispers to wife]
“I ate like 75 chicken nuggets today”

Related reading: Couples that laugh together

3. Recurrent realisations

*watching husband sleep*
Me: “I just love him so much, he’s my everyth-“
*husband snores*
Me: “I can’t live like this.”

Wife can't sleep while husband snore
Wife can’t sleep while husband snore

4. Generous Phil Dunphy spirit in the husband

WIFE: Stop spending money on stupid stuff
ME: Okay
WIFE: What the hell?
[dog walks by in a tuxedo]
ME: He’s getting married, Karen

5. Truth be told

Marriage is basically agreeing to not sleep in a comfortable position again for the rest of your life.

Related reading: Ask and you shall receive! A guide on why women should not shy away from sex

6. There is no “Don’t come in, I am naked” in a marriage

Marriage is essentially just having somebody who you can have regular conversations with while one or both of you are stark naked.

There is no “Don’t come in, I am naked” in a marriage
You can have regular conversations with while one or both of you are stark naked.

7. I have seen this happen with my sister and her husband

When my husband asks me where I want to eat, I always say, “Somewhere good.” And then reject every one of his suggestions. I’m a delight.

8. Seduction techniques upgraded

Just put on fancy socks and a nightshirt with no food stains so I can try to seduce my husband later.

Seduction techniques upgraded
husband seduce wife in bedroom

9. Yep. That’s marriage

Relationship status: My wife asked me what I wanted for dinner and then told me I was wrong.

10. This is why you need to listen to the missus

Wife: We need milk, eggs, and bread. Write it down.
Me: No need. I’ll remember.
[an hour later]
Wife: What did you buy?
Me: A panda.

11. Sharing life together doesn’t mean you have to share everything

Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn’t wanna share.

All the married couples out there, the next time you want to throw a rant, why not deck up the banter with a little humour and get creative on Twitter. You will have millions relating to you.


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