Well, space… but how much, how long and in which direction! That’s where we always falter it seems when it comes to marriage. Indians have a clear perception that once you get married you lose your freedom! And its from that perception of being bound by duties, we forget to enjoy the fruits of a married life.
Being married to a man for more than 15 years and with a courtship of more than 20 years, I have always appreciated the ‘Concept of Space’ in my marriage. And my husband knew if he did not give me the freedom I needed, the relationship would not have worked. Simple logic. Every human is different, it is wrong to even imagine that my spouse will have the same interests as mine. Say for example every morning my husband might like to go for a swim, but I might love to sit idle and write a poem. Now if I ask him to sit by me or set up the breakfast before going for a swim, he might do it but later might feel I did not allow I’m to go his way. Same with the wife, if every morning she would love to sit in the garden and enjoy a few minutes before the son leaves for school, let her be so.
Just like a relationship should never be taken for granted, it should also never be ‘on the face.’
Trust me, its these small demands and the way we try to control the partner that leads to souring of relationship. Just let him or her be as they wish to be.
Give them space!