As told to Saurabh Das
(Names changed to protect identities)
We got married in December 2013 and started living on the ground floor of our home with my parents. My dad, who retired from the army, was famous for his handsome personality. He was very happy I was finally married. I was a photographer and my job involved lots of travelling, so I was against the idea of marriage. But there came a time when the pressure was too much to handle and I had to give in.
Related reading: I don’t believe in love and marriage
All the odd questions
Since the day we got married, my wife would ask me questions, like why I didn’t have a bigger car, why I did not settle abroad, why I don’t earn enough and the question that struck me most, “Why aren’t you as good looking and handsome as your dad?” To which I replied, “I don’t know, it’s not in my hands.” However, with the passage of time the comparisons increased, until one day she asked, ‘Does your dad still have sex?’ (My dad was 70 then) and “Your dad must have realised by now that I am on my periods.” I found it weird that she had Dad on her mind all the time.
At first I couldn’t understand and thought that these were general questions but as months passed things became starker. She started stalking my dad, where he was going, why he was going. She would plan her day according to my dad’s routine. This began to disturb me.
Stalking my dad
She would find ways to talk to my dad, leave conversations midway to stare at him, find a way to sit with my dad and be around him all the time when he was home…which my mom and I closely observed. My mom tried to stop her and asked her to stay away from Dad, to which she replied, “Mom, you are backward.” And when I objected, she replied “You are suspicious!” That’s when I realised that she was one hell of a cunning, chronic flirt who was manipulating everyone. My dad ignored all this. I still didn’t know whether he realised what his daughter-in-law was up to, because it was all so subtle!
Now, I started making up my mind to divorce her. I discussed the matter with my mom, but she wanted me to save the marriage for the sake of society and relative. So I decided to give it one last chance, for six more months, and explained to my wife that she was crossing her limits. To which she replied, “You are now too suspicious”! As if my mom and I were mental cases and couldn’t understand what was happening.
When nothing worked and her one-sided crush for my dad increased, she started feeling suffocated, bitter and dejected if she couldn’t find Dad for a day, or couldn’t hear his voice. She was head over heels in love with my dad!
Related reading: Through Hell, but back!
My life and work suffered
Out of extreme frustration, I started visiting my ex-girlfriends and got involved physically with them. I became a wayward man, started drinking heavily, visited escorts very often and eventually started losing my photography clients as well.
And my wife tried to hit on my dad. One day he expressed his displeasure by asking me to move to the first floor with her. I knew this was not a solution, but I agreed. In a month we moved, but she kept finding ways to go downstairs and continue with her destructive ways. Our fights increased, and one fine day, I slapped and hit her, at which she threatened to file a domestic violence FIR. I told her she was behaving like a loose woman! But she said she’s an ideal woman.
Related reading: When values clash, marriages crash
The final excess
One day when I was sitting on the couch which overlooked the home entrance, she suddenly came to me, kissed me tight and started getting intimate with me. I couldn’t understand this, as we were not on talking terms, and I suspected her intentions! Suddenly I heard my father’s voice from behind. She knew Dad was coming and she was doing it all so he could see us in an intimate position!
And then I said that was it. I filed for divorce the very next day and she came up with false allegations of dowry and domestic violence. But eventually I got the divorce after 4 years and I am a happy man today. I don’t want to get married again. In my 1.5 years of marriage, I became a bitter man, fought with my parents, sister, friends, clients and strained my relationships with them. My work deteriorated and I lost so much money it will take me another year to recover. I have lost faith in marriage.