The Grey Shade of Marriage

Depression in marriage
(As told by my school friend….names changed for privacy)

I met my school friend after two decades…But was horrified to see her totally changed. Geeta was an all-rounder during school days, full of life, jovial, and a complete capsule of positivity. But now she came across as completely dejected. Actually the dark circles under her eyes was troubling me a lot. With great difficulty I coaxed her to open up.

We decided to go to the McDonalds and share our feelings over a cup of coffee. Geeta was too reluctant to talk but I just wanted to know…She told it all started after her marriage, when she went out with her husband for shopping and while returning home, she was assaulted by some boys who were just hanging out on the streets. Her husband, who came to protect her, was also thrashed by the street boys but the public never came to their aid. Geeta went on shouting for help but no one buzzed and finally, the police siren made them disperse, throwing her on the streets. Geeta, who was too wounded, somehow collected herself and went to the police station. The police filed a complaint and sent them home with an official.

I was still not able to understand anything, as to how a jovial, extrovert, all-rounder girl like Geeta had such a horrible experience. I was really concerned for her as she told me that she was looking for jobs overseas. She wanted to leave her family and live peacefully. I just was curious to know what happened to her and she finally broke down and told….

“After returning home from the police station, everyone in the family looked at me weirdly and just forced me to go the washroom and clean myself. I couldn’t understand why everyone was looking out for just one answer, as to did they rape me?”

Then the trauma started in my bedroom too. My husband, who was with me, started to behave like a stranger inside the bedroom. He just turned his face and went to sleep. I felt restless as if I was a culprit. I didn’t care about the world but what worried me was my husband ignoring me. I tried to touch him but he would just shake me off him. I just didn’t give up, I tried to coax him but he got up with a start and started to move out of the room. I ran behind him and asked him “What is wrong dear? Why you behaving like this with me?” He told, “As if you don’t know, I can’t sleep with you after what those boys did to you”. I was taken aback on hearing what he said. I tried to remind him what had happened that night, but he told very clearly,” I don’t want to listen to anything. I just can’t sleep with you.”

Now this rejection from my husband made me feel very low. For the two weeks, I was seeing this rejection only in the eyes of the family members and now when it came from my husband, I just couldn’t accept. I went out into the gallery of our bed room and wanted to get some fresh air.

But my husband started calling me out, “Come inside. No need to show your body to the other neighbourhood boys”.

I replied, “What? How can you say all this? I am just standing for some fresh air and you want me to come inside. Why? I will come but after sometime.”

My husband came out instantly and tightly caught my arms and hurled me inside and said, “No need to show your body in this night dress, you have already shown what you had to those boys in the street, now what do you want to show more? Do you want them to come inside our house?”

He further went on to say, “I don’t know why your mother gave you this revealing night dress? Actually, I think it is your mother who totally spoiled you”

I just couldn’t understand why my mother had to be blamed for everything. I told, “See, my mother never thought that you would behave like this, she just wanted to spice up our romantic life, that is it. Please don’t bring my mother into all this.”

So, now I just can’t bear that rejection from my husband’s side but can’t give him a divorce either so I am planning to go outside the country alone, get a job and try to be happy.”

I told her, “Yes, you have taken the correct decision” and promised to be with her always. After all if she was molested, where was her fault? It was just an accident. It was not like she invited them to come and molest her!


Readers Comments On “The Grey Shade of Marriage”

  1. Rachanachakraborty

    Thanks Shobha
    I too feel the same.The crimes have increased now a days as the criminals are not frightened of being punished as in most of the cases it is seen that the victim never lodge a complaint . And hence they go Scott free.
    I just feel that Geeta gets her respect back.

  2. Shobha_Lucky_Iyer

    so sad…. can only hope the best for the lady… its really bad that the persons who has vowed to take care of her thru Marriage – doesn’t support her in her time of need

  3. Shobha Mahapatra

    As if the crimes against women aren’t already bad, they also have to cope with such atrocious mentality shown by the very persons who are meant to love and support them.Well, not just once, but in every stage of life, everywhere.

    I hope she finds her share of peace and happiness that she deserves to get.

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