Being a man was never more complicated than it is today. One in every 4 men could be affected by this problem, globally. Before turning 40, most men have encountered an issue in the area of sexual health. But how many seek medical help is a different conversation. Over the counter drugs like Viagra and other drugs are also being tried out more than ever before.
While Erectile Dysfunction has been around as long as eternity, it’s only in modern times that even movies are discussing it not discreetly but openly, or maybe not that openly. As some of the reviews are noting, Shubh Mangal Saavdhan doesn’t once openly mention the medical name of the condition and keeps addressing the issue as something like, ‘gents problem’.
Here’s the trailer for the movie:
No sex please, we’re Indian
Why am I not surprised? The truth is that any dysfunction is not supposed to be spelt out in our society. And when it comes to men and their issues, it’s better to avoid the topic totally, or so goes the most common approach.
In reality, we all know how our parents broach the subject of sex or sexuality with their children. It’s mostly never done.
It is assumed that one comes auto-tuned from Mother Earth on matters of sexuality.
From parents, the practice is passed on to younger couples, who never talk about the subject.
It’s taken for granted that if it’s a man, what he does is look at a woman, get his thing up, and then go for it. And when it’s a woman, she wears low-cut blouses and goes dhak, on seeing her potential swami.
But reality bites. You get married assuming or expecting a few early years of passion at least, and then realise something is off. But what is that something? Mummy never explained to me what to expect, how to do it, and no one ever discussed these matters in friends’ circles. They only boasted about their raunchy triumphs with the new boyfriend who resembled Brad Pitt or Salman Khan.
Read what the experts say about the issue of premature ejaculation in men.
No family doctor told us that taking the pill to avoid pregnancy in the initial months is an old thing, now check if you two can do it at all. I still remember the discussions around soon-to-be-married cousins. The elder Bhabhis in the house would always be reminding the girl about the pill and then take her through the drill of how to, which days, etc.
Not once did anyone think about what if!
No longer in denial
Ayushmann Khurrana, from being the very virile Punjabi who did the noble deed of sperm donation, to a guy with ED, was quite an amazing choice as an actor. But someone had to say it and here Shubh Mangal said it. But with times evolving, our approach also changed. Today our hero is open about it; he is admitting it before tying the nuptial knot. He is seeking help, he is confessing to his fiancée. This is a huge shift from leading men who were macho or in denial.
The new urban male is someone who deals with his ‘Gents Problems’, rather than shoving it under the carpet and pretending it never happened and all is hunky dory at home. Ask the partner, would be my take on it.
Guys, do not be embarrassed, be the Ayushmann of your life, and seek help now, if you see any signs.
Some things to remember about Erectile Dysfunction:
- Talk about it to your doctor, close friend, girl friend or wife first.
- Do not ignore it, brush it under the carpet or tell yourself, “It’s a phase, it will go away on its own.”
- See a doctor, if you think it’s happening frequently.
- There could be a serious underlying medical condition like diabetes or heart condition attached to this, but more often it is psychological.
- Acknowledging there is a problem is the biggest battle won, most men do not admit the issue.
- Share with your partner, she may be your biggest support.
- Nobody is judging you; all everyone wants is for you to lead a good life, ultimately.
- And as for the women, keep it simple, and get him help, and take help if needed, too.