I have noticed many times during my own pregnancy and otherwise that some people treat a pregnant lady awkwardly, like she’s contagious! It is almost like she’s a freak, as opposed to one of nature’s pure forms of miracle. Many others treat a pregnant lady like she is handicapped and offer to help all the time and every time. As for the spouses, there is too much confusion regarding the dos and don’ts and the thin line between caring and being overbearing. So, here is some handy help being provided by yours truly who’s been there and done that and by that I mean been knocked up, and not been rude to a person who is pregnant.
First and most important: never congratulate a woman on being pregnant simply because she looks so, it may just be a case of over-eating or genetics. It is absolutely criminal to congratulate someone who you think is pregnant when she’s actually not. There ought to be a law against such kind of evil action.
Then there is a thin line on being considerate towards a pregnant person and being over affectionate. Actually, the line, though thin, is vivid; do not touch her stomach unless you are her spouse. Yes, even though you may be an extremely close family member, she still may prefer you across the diameter of her belly. Kindly try and explain this to your children too. Though God knows I have tried hard with mine and failed on occasion and I find him checking not only my friend’s belly but also his grandfather’s where he firmly believes a baby has been hiding for way too long!
Related reading: 6 things a man does to show his love
Tips for the partner
If you are the spouse and the would-be father (can be mutually exclusive), if you are the cause of the impregnation, then remember the following:
- The spouse is the official snack carrier. Bear in mind if your lady craves sugar or salt and carry a snack pack with you everywhere. If your lady has asked for food, it means she wanted it 10 minutes ago and it has to be your job to provide, else face serious consequences.
- Please do be considerate. Offer her a seat when you can and open the door for her. Treat her special, for she really is. Carry some bags for her, for she has enough to carry on her own anyway. Help out and make life easier for her, but do not make her feel handicapped. In this case there is a good chance that you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
- Get ready for not getting any. Make use of the broadband connection and give yourself a hand. Need I say more?
- You need to make her feel loved always, no matter how irrational she is being. You must not highlight any forgotten errands. Remember, she forgot, because you the spouse, you the sperm provider, you the so-called father to be failed to remind her. She is carrying your child and so she has the trump card.
Related reading: 12 best gift ideas for your woman
Tips for everyone
Some points are relevant to anyone and everyone interacting with a pregnant lady. You may probably pop in a comment about how she does not look 6 months (or whatever) pregnant. You mention that she looks too thin or that she looks far along. Either way, ‘zip it’. She does not need your opinion about how she looks. She probably worries about how she looks every single day as she rummages through her wardrobe choosing what to wear. Unless you are the lady’s gynaecologist, stay away from the topic of weight.
The other don’t is that you simply must not tell horrific stories of the doomsday that is the day of labour. This lady does not need to know of someone whose labour lasted 48 hours or of someone who had a C-sec after screaming in pain for 24 hours or any other gory story on those lines. Kindly refrain from giving the woman your version of paranoia. She does not need it, she has her own set of worries and your stories could simply lead to nightmares.
In essence, no complaining around a pregnant woman ever, is the basic mantra. She’s carrying enough weight on her mind and a few other places and therefore her belly is bigger than yours… I mean her problems are always bigger than yours.