Happy Father’s Day 2019: Why fathers do not mother

Shubhada Nishtala
On Father's Day Abhishek Bachchan says Amitabh Bachchan is his best friend

As the world gears up to celebrate International Father’s Day on 16th June, we tell you why they’re so important in our lives and why fathers don’t “mother”. Studies show that children with highly involved fathers benefit in many ways.

On Father’s Day we tell you some typical dad traits

  • Fathers have a hands-off approach which helps build the child’s self confidence and self esteem.
  • They are more likely to encourage children to explore the outer levels of their competence and try new experiences.
  • Fathers tend to avoid giving immediate help to a frustrated child. They give the child time and space to work out situations by themselves, thus inculcating problem-solving skills.
  • Children of involved fathers tend to have increased tolerance of stress and frustration.
  • Children with consistently involved fathers tend to be brave. With dads around children learn just how to hit the ball harder, fly the kites higher, jump from the top level at the club’s swimming pool or brush up the dust after a fall with ‘its nothing’.

Bollywood and father-son relationships

A great example of real-life Bollywood father-son relationship is Abhishek Bachchan and Amitabh Bachchan. Despite being the biggest star in the country Amitabh has always been the guiding light as the father for Abhishek.

“My father has always treated me like a friend. His favourite line is, ‘I’m going to give it to you in the solar plexus.’ He has always been brutally honest with me,” said Abhishek in an interview.

The actor said that his star father has always been brutally honest and critical about his work and he has always looked forward to the rare praise from him.

On Father’s Day today we talk about a number of Bollywood movies in the past decades and how these have focused on modern father-son relationships which have touched upon topics like mental illness, physical ailments, dysfunctional relationships and the effect it has on the audience. Movies like Paa, Wake Up Sid, Yeh Jaawani Hai Deewani have spoken about dysfunctional father-son relationships. While most films have spoken about relationships where the involvement of the father is low, they later focus on the relationship getting a new lease of life when the two mend their bond.

On Father's Day we tell you about the wonderful film Paa where Amitabh Bachchan played Abhishek's son.

A still from Paa. Image Source

Fathers show the real world

Dads prepare their children for the real world. Mothers tend to see the rest of the world in relation to their children; while dads tend to see their children in relation to the rest of the world.

On Father’s Day today we cannot help but talk about one of our all-time favourite films where a father shows his son a different perspective of life. It’s Life is Beautiful. Dads help children see that particular attitudes and behaviours have certain consequences. They are the ones who will say with a matter-of-fact attitude that, ‘If you do not study hard you are not going to get into a good college’. They spell the reality out there in black and white. Mothers preserve and protect children from discomfort. But fathers impose a realistic, the-world-is-tough perspective.

On Father's Day we talk about the father-son relationship in Life is beautiful

A still from Life is Beautiful. Image Source

Fathers are consistent disciplinarians

Fathers discipline in a systematic and consistent manner. They spell out the rules and then stick to them. With dad children know that rules cannot be bent.  A dad’s discipline is not situational (does not depend on his or the child’s moods). Where moms tend to adjust the discipline to the child’s current state of mind, dads tend to observe and enforce rules systematically and sternly. This teaches children objectivity and consequences of right and wrong.

Research shows that the masculinity of sons and the femininity of daughters are the greatest when fathers are active in family life.

Also when fathers are involved in day-to-day care, children grow up with more flexible and less stereotypical/traditional gender roles. Children of involved fathers are also more likely to care well for their own children too.

A still from The Pursuit of Happyness. Image Source

Dad knows best

While dads often take the backseat in parenting, their role in the family structure cannot be ignored. Your dad may not remember your kindergarten best friend’s name, or may not know your favourite colour, but he surely knows what is best for you. He loves you unconditionally and wants the world for you! He won’t say it. He won’t express it. He will hide all his emotions from you, but you need to know, that your victories are his victories and your sorrows are his sorrows!

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