As the world gears up to celebrate International Father’s Day on 21st June, we tell you why they’re so important in our lives and why fathers don’t “mother”. Studies show that children with highly involved fathers benefit in many ways.
Fathers have a different way of parenting than mothers. That’s why they help in nurturing a child in a way that they are capable of making the child ready for the world. Involved fathers have some typical dad traits. What are those?
On Father’s Day We Tell You Some Typical Dad Traits
- Fathers have a hands-off approach which helps build the child’s self confidence and self esteem.
- They are more likely to encourage children to explore the outer levels of their competence and try new experiences.
- Fathers tend to avoid giving immediate help to a frustrated child. They give the child time and space to work out situations by themselves, thus inculcating problem-solving skills.
- Children of involved fathers tend to have increased tolerance of stress and frustration.
- Children with consistently involved fathers tend to be brave. With dads around children learn just how to hit the ball harder, fly the kites higher, jump from the top level at the club’s swimming pool or brush up the dust after a fall with ‘its nothing’.
Bollywood and father-son relationships
A great example of real-life Bollywood father-son relationship is Abhishek Bachchan and Amitabh Bachchan. Despite being the biggest star in the country Amitabh has always been the guiding light as the father for Abhishek.
“My father has always treated me like a friend. His favourite line is, ‘I’m going to give it to you in the solar plexus.’ He has always been brutally honest with me,” said Abhishek in an interview.
The actor said that his star father has always been brutally honest and critical about his work and he has always looked forward to the rare praise from him.
On Father’s Day today we talk about a number of Bollywood movies in the past decades and how these have focused on modern father-son relationships which have touched upon topics like mental illness, physical ailments, dysfunctional relationships and the effect it has on the audience. Movies like Paa, Wake Up Sid, Yeh Jaawani Hai Deewani have spoken about dysfunctional father-son relationships. While most films have spoken about relationships where the involvement of the father is low, they later focus on the relationship getting a new lease of life when the two mend their bond.
Father’s Day Tips To Be A Great Dad
When you are parenting you are never sure that you are doing it right all the time. Since the father’s way and the mother’s way of handling a child are different there are times spouses tell the other that they are being wrong. Fathers are usually a bit relaxed mothers are strict and believe in sticking to discipline.
There are things that fathers should do to shape their children better. Here are a few practical tips you can use to become a great father.
1. Fathers should show the real world
Dads prepare their children for the real world. Mothers tend to see the rest of the world in relation to their children; while dads tend to see their children in relation to the rest of the world.
On Father’s Day today we cannot help but talk about one of our all-time favourite films where a father shows his son a different perspective of life. It’s Life is Beautiful. Dads help children see that particular attitudes and behaviours have certain consequences.
They are the ones who will say with a matter-of-fact attitude that, “If you do not study hard you are not going to get into a good college.” They spell the reality out there in black and white. Mothers preserve and protect children from discomfort. But fathers impose a realistic, the-world-is-tough perspective.
Related Reading: 5 Types Of Fathers And What To Expect When They Are Expecting
2. Fathers are consistent disciplinarians
Fathers discipline in a systematic and consistent manner. They spell out the rules and then stick to them. With dad children know that rules cannot be bent. A dad’s discipline is not situational (does not depend on his or the child’s moods). Where moms tend to adjust the discipline to the child’s current state of mind, dads tend to observe and enforce rules systematically and sternly. This teaches children objectivity and consequences of right and wrong.
Research shows that the masculinity of sons and the femininity of daughters are the greatest when fathers are active in family life.
Also when fathers are involved in day-to-day care, children grow up with more flexible and less stereotypical/traditional gender roles. Children of involved fathers are also more likely to care well for their own children too.
3. Dad knows best
While dads often take the backseat in parenting, their role in the family structure cannot be ignored. Your dad may not remember your kindergarten best friend’s name, or may not know your favourite colour, but he surely knows what is best for you.
He loves you unconditionally and wants the world for you! He won’t say it. He won’t express it. He will hide all his emotions from you, but you need to know, that your victories are his victories and your sorrows are his sorrows.
Dads should teach their children life skills like keeping accounts, driving a car, being independent and the ability to make decisions. A good father will make sure his son or daughter is equipped to face the world. By teaching decision making he would make the child aware of the options and then nudge them in the right direction.
4. Dad teaches respect
How a child would look at respect in future greatly depends on how they see their father respecting other people. Respect should begin at home and if a father respects the mother and tries to help her out as much as possible by taking on the household responsibilities then it has a positive impact on a child.
Children who have abusive fathers or toxic parents grapple with their future relationships and are seen to be extremely disrespectful of their partners.
5. Fathers teach about making memories
This is a key perspective in how a child would perceive a father. What is important to a mother might not be important to a mother.
For instance on Mother’s Day when mothers are gifted bags, perfumes, clothes and make-up or tickets to an opera they are more than happy with the gifts. But a recent survey of 1020 American fathers has proved that clothes, cards and tickets to sporting events are not their thing at all. In fact, they feel that every year $5.23 billion is wasted by buying them worthless gifts. They would rather be gifted with experiences and memories.
That’s what usually fathers also gift their children by taking them out for road trips, farmers markets, camping or maybe even rock climbing. Fathers show children that making memories are important in life, more than material things.
6. Spending time together
This is the most important aspect of being a great father. Father’s are usually busy at work and over the weekends they could be busy at golf or with the guys at the bar.
But dads who make the extra effort to spend time with their children are the best dads possible. After a hard day at work instead of watching baseball on TV if they look forward to spending time with a kid maybe playing a board game with his child, drawing or even cooking together, then fatherhood becomes more fulfilling and has the most positive impact on the child.
The way dads schedule work time they should also schedule time with their children all through the week. Maybe even take turns with mom in reading a bedtime story.
Both parents play a role in bringing a child up but often a mother is expected to take over a chunk of the parenting duties. If you follow our tips on Father’s Day fathering would be the happiest experience of your life.