Q: I’m totally depressed because of my relationship. I have a boyfriend of 7 months. Recently he suddenly said that he wasn’t interested in me and had no feelings for me since the day he proposed. I asked him why he proposed. Then he replied, “All my friends had girlfriends and I was the only one who did not. So I wanted the experience of a relationship and girlfriend. That’s why I proposed. And now I can’t bear a relationship with you. I can’t love you.”
While he was trying to ‘get experience’ of this stuff, I was in the full flow of love. I was very deeply in love. I did everything for him. I called him today after 20 days of a breakup. He received my call but he and his friends were making fun of me. It was really insulting to me. I can’t forget him. My love was true to him. I love him from bottom of my heart. I don’t know why he is doing all this. I’m very depressed. I can’t move on.
I’m not interested in other guys now. And it’s very difficult to forget him. I want him back in my life. Please help me to get him back. Tell me how I can move on. Or tell me how I can get him back.
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A: You have definitely been betrayed in the most brutal way possible. My heart goes out to you. But what surprises me is that despite all this, you love him and you want him back? Despite knowing that he never loved you? What do you want him back for? To humiliate you further? I understand that he made you fall in love with him, but now that you know he was never a part of it, I suggest you take off your rose coloured glasses. He will not have a sudden epiphany one day and come running to you. Take this experience as a life lesson. Even though there was no way for you to know in the last 7 months that he was fooling around with you, it’s time for you to pick up the pieces now that it’s over. Sever all contact with him.
You’re still hung up on him because your heart doesn’t want to believe that all those moments could have been a lie; because as humans it is always very hard for us to accept that people can indeed be cruel; because we want to believe that we meant something to the person who broke our heart; because to accept that they never loved us would mean that we failed to pick the right person, and that feels horribly shameful. Believe me, this is the reason you want him back because you want reassurance that you were worth loving. But my dear, you ARE! And you don’t need a jerk’s stamp to prove that.
In fact, the best way to make him realise what he lost will be to be the best version of who you are so that one day someone worthy comes along and gives you the emotional fulfilment you deserve, not a man-child like your boyfriend. So remember, you don’t actually want HIM back, you want your confidence and your assurance in yourself back – so the best way to do that is to find it within yourself and not in the person who took it away in the first place. I wish you more power! All the best!