Q: I have a 7-year relationship that now seems to be in trouble. It seems like someone who was so serious about me before is now just taking me for granted. I can’t explain, but the bond which we shared before is now somehow missing. Probably just because he wants to concentrate on his future, but now he never notices me. Nor does he talk to me as before. I’m behaving the same as I have done all these years. What do I do?
A: Relationships and people change over time; sometimes those changes are really testing of our trust in each other. Not all changes are bad though. Sometimes the way we show that we care also changes over time and because we haven’t changed our ways, we may interpret our lover’s changed ways as lack of love on their side. This may not always be the truth.
Related reading: Seven things that keep a relationship going
It would be advisable for you to sit and talk about your feelings in a way that does not sound like you are blaming him for your unhappiness. He needs to know that you are struggling to manage with changes in his behavior. Open communication is the key in this situation. Sulking in silence will only increase your suffering.
On your own you could also expand your imagination and try to see some things that he does that are reflections of how much he cares for you. Sometimes when we are too sad about something, we run the risk of filtering out the good as well. Maybe trying a bit of appreciation of things he has done, even with his changed ways, can turn things around a bit.