I am married for 29 years. My wife never initiates sex, never sees porn on her own, never masturbates, never plays with sex toys, never fantasizes sex with other men, never enjoys dirty sex talk and never likes the idea of flirting or swinging with other couples to improve our sex lives. I want to know how to enjoy sex in my relationship with her and increase my wife’s desire for sex.
My wife doesn’t want to experiment to improve our sex lives…
She is a very nice lady and loves me immensely but when it comes to sex, a lot of things hold her back and she simply doesn’t open up. I am very loyal to her and have never cheated on her but intend to explore swinging with her. She is simply in denial and isn’t keen at all. She doesn’t understand that monotony in a long-term marriage is boring and has reduced us to a bickering “husband & wife”. Adding some spice could help us reignite the lust that was there at the beginning of our marriage. I really want to have a fulfilling sex life. Could you please help us understand what we should be doing? Any expert advice will be appreciated.
You are right that monotony in a long relationship may get boring. Adding spice could help to improve your sex lives. But everyone has their own level of spice and the threshold can be gradually increased, if willing. If you keep forcing your wife then it could have a negative effect on your relationship. What you both need is to communicate. You have to tell her your needs and fantasies and you can ask her what she wants. And then you can explore gradually. You can refer to this article for more details.
All the best
Dr. Avani Tiwari