Here’s what living-in with my husband feels like

kishwar and suyash

A new husband means a lot in the life of a new bride

When I got married to the love of my life, S, we had the best few months when we just lived together and became one with each other. There was so much to know about this little boy who I used to go to the rooftops with, to share a kiss or two. There was so much to learn about this boyfriend who refused to make out with me because Shahrukh was playing his mandolin on the screen.

He blushes even now when I tell him all about this, but, marriage has been a huge positive change in our lives. We have grown closer to each other and grown to love each other that much more. It is strange that the person, who used to tease me when I was 13, is such a different person now, and our love has changed. Here are a few observations from my journey.

1. There are no lonely moments

We both work hard and spend hours immersed in our computers and our phones. However, we also interact a lot without letting it interfere with our work. There’s so much love in those moments where there is no one to interrupt us at all. The fact that S lived alone even before this does not make sense to me. For, I cannot imagine this home without the two of us.

He cooks meals and sings songs, and I do little songs which he completes for me. When I am working, he would bring me tea at the middle of the night too, and that is so much more fun.

Read more: 5 Bollywood movies which show love in an arranged marriage

2. Kissing on the road is okay

We shared our first kiss on a rooftop and continued doing that for years. Now, when we walk and I do something silly, he kisses me out of the blue. For the first time, it feels like we have the freedom to do it without prying eyes pulling us apart in every single moment.
Marriage probably hasn’t removed the eyes, it’s just that now, that I know he is mine, I don’t notice them when he kisses me.

3. There’s no pressure to have kids

S loves children; he wants to have a daughter and raise her up and teach her how to dance. I am scared about that though. I am scared that kids will probably ruin the atmosphere we now have. He understands. Most days when he feels like he wants kids he lets it go and we talk about it till late nights. There is no pressure for me to have them right now and here, and that means so much to me. I have come to realise that having kids is a part of the deal which will come along when it has to.

4. Love is weirder

He bought me this bouquet of napkins the other day when I was feeling very sad and that made me happy. Our happiness is no longer jewellery and big movie nights. It feels great when we both sign off from work and can still cook chicken in the morning at 3 AM while listening to romantic songs and feel in love.

We go to the rooftop too, and when it is that dark, we just hold each other’s hands and don’t talk. There are so many words hidden in his silence that I cannot explain right now.

Read more: We got married without meeting each other even once

5. No more Starbucks

Last few years, coffee dates meant Starbucks and Americanos. We do not do that anymore. We run out and eat at these hole-in-the-wall eateries that serve the best cheese pastas known to mankind. We explore new restaurants and challenge ourselves to newer ways when we are out on dates. Now, that the expectations are so much lesser, there’s so much more adventure to have.

S is a gem, and I cannot speak for all brides. However, I cannot help but, gush about these two months I have spent with him. It makes me feel so good about myself and the man I chose. Ten years hence, I may be complaining, but, he just brought me coffee, with extra cream on top, and I think this is what heaven would taste like, even a decade after.

True love means eating gooey upma silently

I did not marry for love, but I found it in marriage


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