Single and Dating

Here’s what’s beautiful about my friendship with a colleague even though we are poles apart

The slow and steady progress of an office friendship that might just lead to romance
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Our friendship gradually grew when we found we had things in common

Having failed in class 12th due to distractions of heartbreak, I was determined and dedicated to achieve more than just a degree in my graduation. I managed to graduate with a job in hand with a prestigious agency.

That’s where I met her.

She was my age and we had a few things in common. Initially we met just in 15-minute tea breaks. But as we started getting to know each other, the amount of time we spent together increased. Being better acquainted at office, I used to help her cope with the things new employees are stressed about. She was always grateful. We got more acquainted and found out that we were poles apart!

Related reading: Here’s how to deal with office romance

But in reality we were poles apart

I enjoy a warm cup of tea with mint and ginger in solitude, engaging in my own thoughts and insights, while she loves socialising with friends over coffee. I managed to be a closed book at all times. Angry, upset, anxious or excited, I always made it seem as if there was nothing wrong. On the other hand, she was always expressive about her feelings and very sensitive too. She’d feel hurt if a senior at work was harsh with his words, she would be elated if she appreciated a small gesture someone made for her, and most of all, she was always full of warmth whenever I extended a hand in friendship.

She was a family person and I wasn’t. She always made a point to ensure she spent a good amount of time with her family while such things never occurred to me. While I was the kind of person who could express better through writing, she preferred face to face conversations.

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While I was the kind of person who could express better through writing, she preferred face to face conversations.

She has the ability to make even a stranger talk. Call it a gift that she has. I can’t even smile at strangers.

“Why don’t you date her?”

A couple of months down the line, a few of us went out for lunch to celebrate her birthday. It was a small celebration to make her feel special. By the end of that lunch, one of my colleagues asked me, “So, when are you planning to ask her out?” I was taken aback for a moment and laughed. But I realised I was indeed falling for her. I knew it, but I was ignoring it.

A thousand questions ran through my mind. Career, studies, office… our North and South pole personalities! But I knew that the differences didn’t bother us.

I never felt the need to argue or prove my point to her on any issue. It was the same for her.

She admired the fact that I was a working student, always told me that it was difficult to find self-made guys like me. She always asked me how things were in the university/my office. I could always turn to her if I was stuck somewhere. The moral support she lent to me was beyond words. No one (apart from my close friends and well wishers), not even my parents, asked me such things since I started working. And I felt that was it. I realised that it was exactly the thing I had been looking for all the while. Someone who could understand me, asks me about my life.

Related reading: How to romance your cubicle buddy


When I tried to break it off

I took a chance to express my feelings and sent her a message. I also told her, “I can’t spend time with you anymore because I would end up investing more emotions and that would leave me more vulnerable.”

single and dating

She replied, “Why are you breaking this beautiful friendship for a relationship that hasn’t even begun?”

I agreed. We stayed friends.

The bond grew even stronger after that, much to my surprise.

It has been two months now. I am realising that she likes me too. She waits for me to come to office. She wants me to be next to her when she’s working. She comes to my office if I haven’t seen her when I come in. And she’ll find some cute reasons to spend more time with me. Weekends seem long for us. We went on to become for each other the most motivational factor to come to the office (apart from salary).

Maybe, just maybe, someday in the near future, the hand she holds when I am down, will be the hand she wants to hold on to forever.

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1 Comment

  1. What I know for sure about friendship is it’s grounded on accepting a person the way he/she is, acknowledging the difference, appreciating the idiosyncrasies , letting him/her be. Because when you allow room to accommodate the differences, you discover new things about life. And it’s beautiful to see how you appreciate her individuality. What is even more amazing is you nourished the bond of friendship pushing aside your own expectations. But then, deep down , aren’t you still expecting the same? You must understand that she might love you with all her heart as a dearest friend, yet she might not be romantically inclined towards you. If you would keep on interpreting her actions as per your own expectations, it will eventually affect your bond. So, go for a better truth. Acknowledge the blessing of having her as a part of your life and cherish the moments without expecting the fulfilment of your own interests. Cherish the journey. Because , that’s the most meaningful thing to do.

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