He’s suddenly changed and says he’ll leave

Clarity is an important asset in a relationship. Find out what our counsellor has to say about it.
After Divorce

Q: I was in a live-in relationship for one and a half years. Everything was perfect like a fairy tale. Then he went home for 10 days and when he came back he was suddenly a different person. He openly said he doesn’t want to be with me any more and doesn’t love me. I was very hurt and broken. Then after two days he started talking to me with silly excuses. He came to visit me, cuddled me a lot and said he can’t leave me so abruptly, but he has to. It is very complicated. Please help me to understand what I should do. I don’t want to lose him.

Relationship counselling

A: I can imagine how this sudden change in behaviour might have confused you. From the situation you have described, it appears that [restrict]something happened when he went home that changed his mind and his stance towards your relationship. Maybe there was talk of his getting married, maybe he had to commit to his parents or something like that. The only way to get some clarity out of this is to ask him straight up and assure him that an honest answer is the best possible option right now. At least you’ll find out what’s going on and get some closure. As for losing him, even he seems to be quite attached to you but it appears that he’s making this decision on his own right now without including you in it, so somewhere you have already lost him a little bit, but I want you to remember that YOU didn’t bring this on – it’s coming from him and you have the right to a proper explanation. I hope you find your way! Good luck!

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