How To Tell What A Guy Wants From You?

what a guy wants from you

Have you ever stopped to wonder what men are really trying to say? Have you ever thought that their signals are way off – that they say one thing and mean another? You’re not alone. Decoding guys can be really difficult! Sometimes guys say the sweetest things, but they end up not meaning any of it – and this can really throw a girl off track.

You can ask guys and they even respond with things you may want to hear, but later end up changing their mind and making you feel completely foolish for believing something else. So, what do guys really want? How can you tell?

Related Reading: How Long Does It Take A Man To Know He Wants To Marry You?

Most girls experience this typical struggle of trying to figure out the men in their lives, quite often. It doesn’t even matter if the guy is young or older – all guys are basically the same when it comes to really being clear about their intentions.

Not to generalise, but men usually put emotional thinking on the backburner, unless it really affects them. Having said that, there really is no black or white solution to any relationship – or a prospective one at that.

What A Guy Really Wants From You

Are you in a situation where a guy is flirting with you but keeping things at bay? Is a guy directly asking you to be with him, but then acts differently when he’s around other people? So, how can you really tell what a guy wants from you?

1. Direct talking

guy wants to talk
A guy wants open and honest conversation

Yes – sometimes it’s as easy as directly approaching a conversation. Most men are scared of confronting women and having deep conversations about what they really want.

If it’s bothering you and you can’t seem to figure out a guy’s intentions, why don’t you just sit him down and have an open and honest conversation about what he wants?

Directly broach the subject and get the guy to simply tell you whether he wants to commit to something or is just infatuated with the idea of you being around him. This will give you clarity and help you understand what you want to do.

Often times it sucks being the girl that’s just waiting around – so take this cue, set up a date and have that conversation. Ask him what he really wants, where his focus is at, and whether he really wants you to be a part of his life.

If you’re trying to have this conversation with a guy who just won’t bother responding to you or reciprocating the dialogue, then that’s an answer as well – he’s just not into you enough to even want to talk to you – so why wait around and waste more of your time?

Related Reading: 100 Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend

2. He’s introduced you to others

You’re effectively in a relationship with someone, but you don’t know what he wants from the relationship, or from you, for that matter. One of the easiest tell-tale signs to understand whether a guy is really into you, or not, is to gauge his actions in terms of showing you off to his world.

Has your man introduced you to his friends and family?

And we don’t mean just any people – has he taken the step of making you meet his closest friends and family, the ones that matter the most to him?

If yes, then he may be onto telling you something important – that he really likes you and sees you as part of his life. Your man definitely wants to keep you around if he’s taken the pain to make you meet his folks or closest pals.

If he didn’t want his friends and family talking about you or your status with him, he would not take the plunge. If you’re too early into the relationship to be introduced to his family, then see if he talks about taking this step eventually – if it’s something that he doesn’t see himself doing, then maybe it’s best you understand you may not be in it for the long run.

3. He wants to be introduced to your close group

The flipside to being introduced to close family and friends of a man, is whether he shows interest in being introduced to YOUR family and friends! Do you get excited about taking your man along with you to events, dinners and brunches with your close-knit group of people?

How does he react in such circumstances? Does he love taking the time to get to know your friends and family? Or is it all just a huge bother for him? Understand his body language and the signals he throws your way when you talk about taking him along as your +1 to a party or a get-together with your friends and family.

If he really wants to be in your life, you’ll see that he takes every effort to get to know your people, because those that are important to you, will be important to him too. If not, then girl that’s your exit excuse right there.

4. Takes initiative

Takes Initiative
He takes a lot of initiative

A lot of men love taking initiative when it comes to showering their partners with affection, love and material things.

Is your man constantly suggesting and recommending date night ideas to you? Is he sending you presents every once in a while? Does he buy you lunch or dinner or even coffee when you’re having a slouchy day?

These are all signs that your man is in love with you and definitely wants more out of the relationship in terms of his commitment towards it.

Taking initiative means that a man is actively seeking you out, and considers you to be a huge part of his life. On the other hand, if he’s someone that flakes on you, doesn’t turn up on dates, or even shows the slightest bit of disinterest if you suggest an outing, then maybe he’s really not into you.

5. Future talk

One of the primary give-aways of what a guy really wants from you – whether it’s a relationship or just a fling, is when he talks (or does not!) about the future.

Men that have their partners on their mind, especially when it comes to long-term commitment, do not shy away from talking about the future with their partners.

If a guy talks about the future – even in simple terms like discussing events or furniture or silly things that make you happy, then maybe he’s in it for the long haul.

Conversely, there are many men who just deflect or change the topic when it comes to future talk – in that case, maybe he really doesn’t want much from you and sees the relationship as something that exists in the moment, at least for now.

Related Reading: 15 Signs A Commitment-Phobe Loves You

6. Dating others

It’s 2020 – and the dating rules have really seen a huge change. A lot of people aren’t exclusive these days with their partners – this is mostly because people are constantly on the move, switching careers, and figuring their lives out. With more freedom, comes more responsibility of commitment and being clear about what one wants.

Are you with someone who is afraid of commitment?

How can you tell?

Easy. Is he someone that still uses dating apps and websites every now and then?

Is he someone who is constantly looking at other people when you’re out at a bar or a restaurant? Then perhaps it’s time to understand that the guy doesn’t want much from you and isn’t looking for a long-term commitment.

It’s not really that hard to figure out what a guy really wants. You have to just keep your eyes and ears open for the signs that are always there.


1. I get confusing signals from my boyfriend – sometimes he talks about the future, sometimes he freaks out when I ask him about it. What does he really want?

Well, you’re not alone. A lot of guys tend to freak out when you talk about the future – especially when they’re not fully ready. If a guy is taking the initiative to talk to you about the future, then it means that he probably does see you in his life in the long run. However, maybe there are other things that are bothering him – perhaps his career or something to do with his family.

2. How will I know if a guy is ready for a relationship?

Signals and actions! It’s as easy as that. Some guys, who have recently broken up, may not be fully ready to commit to something long term. Are you with someone who doesn’t fully commit his time or energy to you? Then maybe he’s not fully ready for something as big as a relationship.

3. I’m with someone who constantly texts me and calls me, but I still feel doubtful about his intentions towards me. How will I ever know what he wants?

Sometimes guys like to play it cool – they don’t like girls to know that they’re down for a relationship unless they’re fully sure the girl is also up for it. So if a guy you know is really giving you all his time, texting you, calling you and talking about personal things with you, then stop questioning his intentions. He probably really wants you in his life.

4. I’m with someone who only calls me when he needs things, but then he also tells me that he really wants me to be in his life. How do I get past the confusing signals and understand what his intent really is?

You’ve got to separate the truth from what he’s saying. Sometimes men use women because women are so emotionally caught up with guys and they’ll do anything to make the guy want you in their life. Stop doing things for him and then see what his position is. Does he only call you if he needs something? Then take it on face value – he just needs work done; he doesn’t need you.

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