Love is a tricky thing. At some point, we have all been deceived. One moment you thought that everything was going to be all right, and the next moment you’re nursing a broken heart. And perhaps, already wondering how to woo an ex-girlfriend back after a breakup.
Hey, that’s fine. Even though it may not make sense, your love life is at times an endless cycle of breakups, makeups and relationship issues. Breakups strike in stages and can be nasty affairs, we agree. Once upon a time, you used to walk around hand-in-hand, flaunting your relationship.
Now you and your girlfriend are uncomfortable being in the same room. You spend long waking hours scrolling through your old WhatsApp and Messenger chats. You have built, broken and rebuilt endless theories on what went actually wrong in your relationship and if at all you could change anything to get her back in your life again.
How can you make your ex-girlfriend want you back? How to get her back when she has moved on? These are question that is often on your mind. Thankfully, we have the answer.
6 Ways To Make Your Girlfriend Love You Again
If you really regret the loss of your girlfriend and want to have her back in your arms, social media profiles, mobile phone contacts list, Instagram selfies and in your life, then here are 6 wooing hacks you need to memorize.
Breakups are painful but you can attract your girlfriend back to your life. You can impress her all over again and woo her back.
1. Avoid contacting her for a period of time
Yes. There is a general misconception that once you break up, you need to call and text your ex as much as you can. But that isn’t the truth. You don’t need to act desperate or resort to funny tricks after a breakup to get your ex-girlfriend’s attention. A breakup leaves certain negative feelings and memories in the mind. You and your girlfriend both need some time and space to deal with it. In fact, by not contacting her you are giving her time to miss you. That’s the best technique to woo her back.
Rather than pining for her, you can use this time to work on yourself and on your relationship issues. And if she sees that you are pretty much okay and dealing with life without her, there is a possibility that she might start abandoning old grudges too.
She might even develop a sense of respect for you. And then you stand a better chance of making things work for you too.
2. Test the waters
Don’t ambush her with an out-of-the-blue phone call. Just because you regret breaking up doesn’t mean she does too. It is always better to test where you stand in your relationship through a text message. Does she miss you as much as you do? Does she hate you? Has she moved on and doesn’t want to speak with you?
It is always safe and better to gauge the answers to these questions from the way she responds to your text messages. Then only you can start working on your relationship issues and your strategies and answers the question: How can I make my ex attracted to me again?
3. Take it slow and steady
Once you reconnect with your ex, take it slow and steady. Try getting over the post-breakup awkward phase with some easy-going and friendly conversations over coffee. Don’t call or text her too much.
Don’t pester her to meet you again and again. Give her the space she requires. If you act too needy or desperate, she might retreat from the relationship, again. With that, goes your hope to get back with your ex-girlfriend.
4. Avoid treading on the old paths again
By the time you seek a connection with your ex, I am sure you have both pondered about your mistakes. So the best way to have your girlfriend back in your life would be by not repeating old mistakes.
Maybe you had commitment issues, maybe you cheated on her or maybe both of you had different priorities. Try working on your past mistakes, relationship issues and start afresh.
5. Keep the past in the past
Learn from your mistakes in the past. Do not allow it to overshadow your present. Breakups do cloud your thinking process. Talking too much about the past might churn bitter memories and cause unnecessary disagreements.
6. Show that you really want your girlfriend
Actions speak louder than words. And by action, I don’t imply the sex. Once you get her talking with you, you need to tell her why you really want her back. And then, you need to back your words with convincing actions. If she needs you, you have to be with her. If she loses her temper, you have to be patient and calm.
If you enjoyed a couple’s activity when you were together, then rake up some nostalgia by asking her to join you for it. Has she helped you out with making a difficult life choice before? Then ask her for help. Show her what she means to you and how willing you are to have her back.
But what if she has already moved on with some other guy? How to win her back from another guy?
Related Reading: 15 Tips To Forget Your Ex-Girlfriend Completely
6 Ways To Win Your Girlfriend Back When She Has Already Moved On
If you both shared something real and meaningful, then she is going to remember it for a long time. True love doesn’t fade away just like that. All you have to do is to remind her how she used to feel with you. And you have to do this the sensible way. She could be in a rebound relationship so you have a better chance.
1. Be more awesome and attractive than her boyfriend
Ditch the guilty and remorseful you and try being an awesome guy whom everybody likes. Please be genuine in your attempts. You don’t have to fake ‘awesomeness’ but simply try to live your life without her. While living your new life, make sure that your ex-girlfriend gets to see it. Breakups are not the end of the world. Remember!
Ex-back expert, Dan Bacon, advises that you should actually post your attractive pictures and everyday-life pictures on social media. In this way, she develops respect for you because you aren’t acting desperate and begging her for attention.
At the same time, it’s a great way to get your ex-girlfriend’s attention, because seeing this new side to you will definitely inspire intrigue and curiosity in her.
2. Don’t accept being just a friend
If you want her back then probably the worst mistake you’ll ever do is to take the friend position in her life. A girl never likes to see that her ex-boyfriend has given up on her so easily. You cannot act like you’re okay being friends with her now that she has moved on. This would create more relationship issues.
Instead, keep your focus on how to win your ex-girlfriend back and work toward that goal. When you talk with her through text messages or meet her, try to make her smile or remind her of a romantic moment you shared.
Tap into what you know about her to find some cute things to say to your ex-girlfriend to get her back. Once she sees how you’re still the same old romantic you, she’ll start feeling attracted to you.
3. Never ask to change her mind
Women hate this argument: “If you could only change your mind you would see how I am better for you.” You might actually be better than her. But if you directly go and sell yourself as the better one, she is never going to accept it.
There is a possibility that her feelings might change and she might get back to you. However, you should also be prepared to accept that she might not. Be emotionally strong and she is going to like that best about you.
4. Rekindle the connection
Ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriend recovery expert Chris Seiter runs says that while dealing with the issues of several women he has noticed that many women wanted to get back with their exes in spite of them being horrible. A particular woman wished to get back with her ex who had cheated six times on her. The reason was simple – connection. Breakups happen but the connection cannot be forgotten.
So, if you wish to get back with your ex-girlfriend, then you have to touch the place where it will really pain her and she will respond. You need to give a shot at which factor kept you truly connected and work on it.
5. The No Contact Rule
Chris also suggests following the No Contact Rule. It’s a period where you deliberately ignore your girlfriend in order to win her attention. If she is in a rebound relationship this will irk her more because she is probably looking for your attention.
Contradictory, right? But it might actually work only if you do not avoid her completely. While you are giving her thinking space, try making her miss you very subtly.
6. Ask her to hang out
Before you ask her to hang out, try building a solid romantic friendship through text messages. Weed out the relationship issues that were there earlier. Keep her attracted and hooked to you until the right time.
When you feel that she trusts you and likes you enough to accept a hangout offer, do it. It’s a simple and easy test. If she is serious about her current boyfriend she would never agree to hang out with you. But if it’s a rebound she would.
Related Reading: Looking up your exes on social media? Is there a point?
6 Ways To Get Your Ex-girlfriend Back Fast
Understandably, you’d want to get your ex-girlfriend back fast, if you’re still in love and regret the breakup. Even so, taking some time off to process what went wrong between you both is recommended. After you’ve followed the No Contact Rule for about 30 days, you can plan to re-enter her life and impress an ex-girlfriend.
What you do next determines whether or not she’d want to get back together with you and how soon. So, you must plan your moves cautiously. Here are 6 ways you can get your ex-girlfriend back fast
1. Work on yourself
To get an ex-girlfriend attracted to you again, you must invest the time spent apart to work on yourself. Be it your outward appearances or your personality traits that drove a wedge between you two, identify the areas where there is scope for improvement. Then, do the necessary work to fix them.
She should be able to see you in a new light when you reconnect, otherwise, she just may not be interested in going down the same path again.
2. Polish your humor
The ability to make a girl laugh is one of the most attractive qualities in a man. To get an ex-girlfriend attracted to you again, learn to make her laugh. From funny one-liners to cheesy pick-up lines and some well-rehearsed jokes, anything that you know would tickler her funny bone works.
You have an advantage here of already knowing her likes and dislikes, so that makes your job that much easier.
3. Find cute things to say to your ex-girlfriend to her back
Given that things didn’t pan out well between you both the first time around, it’s only natural that there is emotional baggage and perhaps unresolved anger in the equation. Finding the right cute things to say to your ex-girlfriend to her back can be the perfect antidote to this unpleasantness.
For instance, you can crack a joke, and when she laughs, say, ‘I missed watching your nose scrunch up when you laugh.’ Or ‘Can we share a pizza? It’s not the same unless we’re arguing over who gets the last slice.’
If you want it to be something more direct and heartfelt, you could take a trip down memory lane by recounting a cute story. Then, when you’re both reveling in the nostalgia, say, ‘I’ve missed you.”
4. Make a thoughtful gesture
To get your ex-girlfriend’s attention and make her notice that you want her back in your life, make a thoughtful gesture. Pay her a sincere compliment. Tell her what you miss about her. Offer a heartfelt apology for your role in the breakup. Help her with an errand.
She is more likely to appreciate your gestures rather than expensive gifts or fancy dates. Your sincere actions will tell her how badly you want to make it work.
5. Base your renewed connection on friendship
Being friends with an ex or not is often tricky territory. You especially don’t want to be consigned to the dreaded friend zone if you want her back. The best approach to get your ex-girlfriend back fast is to bolster the foundation of your relationship.
Striking a genuine friendship with her is your best bet at doing that. However, make sure that she knows your feelings and intent clearly. You want to cultivate a romantic partnership with genuine friendship in it and not just be her friend.
6. Don’t play mind games
If you think that trying to make her jealous or insecure is a surefire way to get your ex-girlfriend back fast, think again. You cannot hope to build a healthy relationship using unhealthy, dysfunctional tactics. Besides, you risk putting her off even more.
Owing to this, she may decide to shut the doors of the possibility of anything ever happening between you two again. So, hold off the mind games, and lead with sincerity.
Related Reading: How To Know When A Relationship Is Over? 25 Signs That Indicate So
How To Win Your Ex-girlfriend Back Permanently?
No one wants to be caught in the toxic loop of an on-again-off-again relationship. That’s why your approach to how to win your ex-girlfriend back must be such that she comes back for good. Now, this may not be as easy as working to get your ex-girlfriend back fast or impressing her or getting her to notice you.
This slow and steady approach will definitely help you build a solid, more well-rounded relationship that can last for the long haul. Here is how yo win your ex-girlfriend back permanently:
1. Don’t ever badmouth her
How to win your ex-girlfriend back? Well, the first rule for keeping the possibility of rekindling a romance with an ex is to never badmouth them. Sure, you too must be experiencing pain, anguish and hurt in the wake of the breakup. Even more so, if it was she who called it quits.
The need to vent can be very palpable at this time. But to keep the hope alive that you will get back with your ex-girlfriend, you must never cross the fine line between venting and badmouthing her. If you do, it is sure to reach her ears.
Words said in the heat of the moment or under the influence of alcohol can come back to haunt you when you’re trying to impress an ex-girlfriend.
2. Take stock of your issues
Before fixating on how to get an ex-girlfriend attracted to you again and rekindle the romance, assess whether or not your issues can be fixed. If the relationship came undone due to practical reasons or tangible differences such as living in different cities or career priorities, sure you can give it another shot.
There is a good chance that you can make it work this time around when you get back with your ex-girlfriend. However, if your differences are fundamental, then that’s a different story. No matter how strong your feelings for one another, these issues will always be a hindrance to your relationship.
If you broke up because of infidelity or wanted different things in life in terms of marriage, children, trying to win her over again may not be such a fruitful proposition. You will both end up getting your hearts skinned twice over.
3. Own up to your part in the breakup
Irrespective of who pulled the plug on the relationship, both partners ought to have played a part in bringing it to a point when it started to seem untenable to one. So, when you reconnect with her intending to win her over, be open to taking responsibility for your actions.
The path to how to win your ex-girlfriend back becomes easy when she sees that you’re genuinely repentant and willing to make amends. When you extend an olive branch, she will be more than willing to reciprocate.
4. Be honest about your feelings
Rebuilding a relationship entails a lot more than just know how to get your ex-girlfriend’s attention. Clearly, a lot of water has flown under the bridge and you need to be able to process and vocalize how you feel about it.
Be honest not just about how you feel for her but also how the break up made you feel. If you strongly feel hurt or offended by something she did during or right before the breakup, fess up. Holding it in for the sake of not pushing her away again will only lead to resentment in the relationship.
That will come back to haunt you, sooner or later.
5. Address the elephant in the room
No matter how badly you want to get back with your ex-girlfriend, don’t make a fresh start without addressing and sorting out your old issues. Whether it is her being a clingy girlfriend or you being jealous and controlling, talk about things that led to fighting and arguments between you two.
Only when you’re sure that you can move past these issues should you consider giving the relationship a second chance.
6. Leave the past behind
When you do get back with your ex-girlfriend, start with a clean slate. Treat this relationship 2.0 as you would a new romance. Don’t bring up fights or issues from the past. The fact that you wanted her back in your life is a testament that these issues were not big enough to douse your feeling for her.
So there is your chance. Make the most of it. Relationship issues and breakups are a part of life but how you deal with it that is the most important thing. How much effort you are willing to put in to woo your ex-girlfriend back is also a factor.
Getting your ex-girlfriend back isn’t a game or a hunt. You really need to be sure of what you want. And if you do really want your ex-girlfriend in your life then you should work to make it a forever one. You just can’t woo her back and then not put in any more effort.
Good luck, and win your girl back! But genuinely.
Yes, it is possible to win an ex-girlfriend back if there are residual feelings on both sides and the reasons for your breakup are not rooted in toxic relationship tendencies or fundamental differences.
There is no set timeframe for how long it takes to get an ex-girlfriend back. It all depends on your circumstances, the reasons for the breakup and her readiness to start over. That said, it is always advisable to take some time off and process the breakup before you try to get back with your ex-girlfriend.
To make your girlfriend fall in love with you again, you have to make sure she sees you in a new light. So work on yourself and rein in any personality traits that may have drove you apart. It is also equally important that you don’t pressurize her in any way, put her in a spot or resort to mind games to win her over.