Counselling

It hurts when my LDR boyfriend cuts off from me

My loving boyfriend switches off at times and it hurts
A lonely girl

Question:

Dear Ma’am,

I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend since last 1 year. He is quite loving and caring, but sometimes I don’t know what goes wrong with him. He suddenly cuts off… doesn’t talk or even text, but after a couple of days, he is back.

Maybe he has work pressure and stuff. I do understand that, but sometimes it pinches me. Since the last few months, he has been very loving and cute. For Valentine’s, he sent me chocolates which were quite unexpected. But I don’t understand what he exactly feels for me. How do I figure out?

Related reading: We’re on-again and off-again. Does he love me?
Snigdha Mishra says:

Dear How-do-I-figure-out,

If things happen ‘just sometimes’, you need to figure out – are they really that big a deal? As you yourself said that he’s into you, but sometimes he does want a break for all the reasons you’ve stated.

If there’s something that bothers you in the relationship the best person to speak about it is your partner. Let him know how you feel. If his ‘off days’ pinch you, let him know how you feel. The idea is to be respectful of each other’s space and the need for space.

What can build a stronger bond is an open and respectful communication. Gradually you both will figure out what you mean to each other. Patience is also a virtue here. It helps to build empathy.

I hope this helps.

All the best!
Snigdha

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