Dear Neha Ma’am,
I’m very confused. After two months of my marriage, my husband said to me that he needs to buy a flat which costs around fifty lakhs. He is falling short of ten lakhs and ask me to take the amount from my parents as they are rich. He said his family cannot afford to give him this sum.
I said no because how can I ask for money just two months after marriage. It will give a wrong message. He said that my father should take a loan for us, else he can give us the money that he saved for my sister’s wedding!
I was very upset. Should I take a divorce from such an insensitive and greedy man? I talked to my parents, they said yes, you should take divorce. He is manipulating you and this is dowry.
My father scolded him and the situation has become worse. My husband is angry with me that I conveyed a wrong message to my parents. What do I do?
Neha Anand says:
I understand and empathise with you.
First of all I would like to appreciate your courage to open up and share what [restrict] you are going through. It’s surely a sign of your strength. Based on your query I assume it is an arranged marriage. Just to remind you that the practice of dowry in any form is illegal and is considered a crime under Indian law. It is disrespectful and horrendous for a women and her family.
Let me ask you whether you have had an open conversation with your husband and in laws regarding your dilemma. You need to take a call here and confront them before hopping to a conclusion and take the intense step of divorce.
Since your parents are supportive you can go ahead. Be bold and speak to your husband keeping all the dimensions in mind. Make him aware of the litigation process and the Dowry Act and also how it can be a painful process for his family if they commit this crime.
Remember if you stand firm, you don’t need to fear anything.
But it’s too early to think of a divorce. Don’t leave any stone unturned to save your marriage.
Also clear all the misunderstandings with your husband, if he assumes you have conveyed a wrong message to your parents. But if nothing works then there is no point in continuing a disrespectful marriage. You can seek professional help as well.