Affair and Cheating

My husband had lost his libido so I turned to my school friend

Her husband no longer matches her libido and she is getting increasingly frustrated
sad lady because of her husband

(As told to Priya Chaphekar)

Like any other couple in their honeymoon period, my husband (then boyfriend) and I were drunk in love. I still remember the night we met – a winter wedding. A bonfire party. The aroma of toasted marshmallows. Acoustic music. Mushy weather. Giggles were followed by snuggles and before we knew, we were wrapped in one shawl. Our chemistry during the dating period was enviable. We didn’t let go a single opportunity to make love. We did it everywhere. In the elevator, the parking garage and the movies, on the bed, the beach and the kitchen counter. We kissed senselessly in filthy washrooms and on the carpet of a lavish suite with equally remarkable intensity. We were way too distracted to care.

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4 Comments

  1. I quite agree with Deb Chatterjee, infidelity cannot be a solution to the problem you are facing. From what you state, your husband seems to be suffering from a medical condition. And like any other disease, sexual malfunction also deserves care and cure.

    What if you contracted some illness that makes you refrain some sex? Will you agree to your husband straying?

  2. Quite frankly, your extra marital affair with Karan is unforgivable. If you wanted to have sex to satisfy your needs, you could have chosen the following options:

    (a) talk to your husband about your high demand and his lie libido which is sexually dissatisfying. You should have brought up the subject to having sex with someone else if he fully consented. You did not take that step.

    (b) if he did not agree, then you could have asked for divorce on the grounds of sexual incompatibility. The Supreme Court of India has already ruled in favor of the woman/man in such cases.

    (c) you could have tried medical counseling and husband could have taken drugs like Viagra or Cialis to
    have long lasting erection.

    Now the three options above do not involve cheating. But other options, like you having addictive sex with Karan and then not telling your low-libido husband is pure immoral and cheating. Perhaps you and many other cheaters like you are so greedy that you have been robbed of all shame.

    1. Moral policing blah blah blah….Life always give you so many options but you should opt the one you feel for. If being with Karan is that option, so be it. It may have it’s own flip side which don’t only limit to your life but to others associated with you but it’s the chance you take for your happiness or needs.
      You Don’t always make a choice thinking about future but at times you just want to live in that moment.
      Enjoy the time while it last.

      1. @Vinay Kataria

        It is moral policing, true. What I am opting for here is that if you cheat you better hide it good and take it to your grave.

        Because you and me both live in a society that has rules and expectations. We both pay our fair share of taxes to run the society. (At least I do.) So all else being equal, I would expect that if I lead a moral life and do my justified part, you cannot just wisk your way and engage in sexual escapades, and claim that you be worshipped as a macho hero for bedding and banging many women because of your high libido. That’s an unfair treatment. If you get away scot free, I end up paying for your immorality.

        The proposal is that if it is found out that you are a cheater, you should be subject to public shaming. Because I or others like me can not tolerate such nonsense. It is like being the member of an elite club, where members are obligated by some rules. Being a member has privileges and responsibilities. No privileges without responsibilities. So if you break rules you forfeit your membership. That’s why public shaming is necessary. Fair enough?

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