My husband loves me so why does he not want to get physical? We have never done it.

This love marriage has not been consumated even after a month has passed
sad alone woman



I had a love marriage and I love my husband very much. I will die without him. In the past, he used to love someone else but the girl had cheated him. He confessed about it all to me before we got married. He said that all that is in the past and now he loves me and only me. I know that he loves me.

The problem is that we have been married for a month now and he has not tried to get physical with me at all. I can’t understand; if he loves me then why doesn’t he come close to me?

Relationship counselling

Dr. Gaurav Deka says,


I understand that there is a history of an affair or of loss of love in the past, but that is no reason why a marriage that is in the present is not paid [restrict] attention to. More so, when it’s not consummated.

Maybe because of our moral structures and belief systems (around expression of love and sex and understanding it as a right) we do not address the issue.

I must tell you that this is serious and it is good that you reached out and asked for guidance.

Speak with your husband: You need to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your husband. Ask him what the matter is. It doesn’t need to be invasive at all. In fact, it needs to be open ended. But a conversation is a must.

He may try to evade answering you: If he tries to evade by vague answers then you need to tell him that how much it is bothering you and how you’re hurting yourself by not bringing things to the surface.

Express your feelings to him: Expression of feelings and how others make us feel is important. Suppression or even repression will not solve the problem and will only make things worse.
So, without worrying about the consequences you need to bring this conversation up.
Wish you the best.



consult here native

My wife is not interested in sex and sometimes it feels like I am having it with a dead body

He is not interested in me so should I keep trying to woo him or move on?

Our marriage wasn’t loveless, just sexless

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  1. May be 1 month is a shot time like yes, definitely you were in a relationship but looking at you as a wife may have made him hesitant and may be there is something else. Be patient and yes some conversation is the best thing you can do.

  2. The best thing to do would be to hang on! Time and conversation are the two key ingredients to improve your relationship with him, It seems to me that he has ha his trust broken, and hence he is reluctant to open up to you in the same way. So you need to make him realize that you are not “that girl” who cheated on him. I believe that physical intimacy reinforces emotional intimacy, and before he can be intimate with you, he needs to be able to trust you.

  3. My 2 cents:

    You are married for 1 month. This maybe too soon for him especially when he had a failed relationship. He still cannot forget the hurt; whenever he is thinking of having sex with you the face of that cheater girl – his ex comes up. He is trying his best to forget but you know…

    Start communicating and as the advice given, say that you are deeply hurt and cannot take it any longer. Slowly he will come to you because he loves you and will not hurt you.

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