I had a love marriage and I love my husband very much. I will die without him. In the past, he used to love someone else but the girl had cheated him. He confessed about it all to me before we got married. He said that all that is in the past and now he loves me and only me. I know that he loves me.
The problem is that we have been married for a month now and he has not tried to get physical with me at all. I can’t understand; if he loves me then why doesn’t he come close to me?
Dr. Gaurav Deka says,
I understand that there is a history of an affair or of loss of love in the past, but that is no reason why a marriage that is in the present is not paid [restrict] attention to. More so, when it’s not consummated.
Maybe because of our moral structures and belief systems (around expression of love and sex and understanding it as a right) we do not address the issue.
I must tell you that this is serious and it is good that you reached out and asked for guidance.
Speak with your husband: You need to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your husband. Ask him what the matter is. It doesn’t need to be invasive at all. In fact, it needs to be open ended. But a conversation is a must.
He may try to evade answering you: If he tries to evade by vague answers then you need to tell him that how much it is bothering you and how you’re hurting yourself by not bringing things to the surface.
Express your feelings to him: Expression of feelings and how others make us feel is important. Suppression or even repression will not solve the problem and will only make things worse.
So, without worrying about the consequences you need to bring this conversation up.
Wish you the best.