On 9 February 2015 our son was born after months of longing. I was really looking forward to enjoying this new phase of my life. Motherhood would fill my world with love, joy, and laughter.
I guess I was looking at everything through a gilded lens. I was ignorant of the changes that motherhood brings to a woman’s life. It wasn’t easy. I was on an emotional rollercoaster. I was sleep-deprived. My days were suddenly restricted to feeding, cleaning and changing diapers. I was growing desperate to find some alone time. I was crying day and night instead of celebrating the arrival of my first child.
I was beginning to feel like a failure as a mother. It was my husband who illuminated the dark corridors with the light of his love.
A week after my delivery he gave me something that helped me off the emotional rollercoaster.
It was Sunday. I was lying down on the bed next to my child. Suddenly, the door opened and my husband walked in and sat next to me.
“When did he sleep?” he asked softly.
“Just now,” I whispered and closed my eyes.
He started to run his fingers through my hair. “I know this is tough.”
I opened my eyes and a tear rolled down my cheek.
He wiped it away with his thumb. Then he pulled out a folded sheet of paper from his pocket and asked me to read it. He told me that it was something that might help me and left the room.
I unfolded the paper. My eyes brimmed with tears after I finished reading the article. It talked about Baby Blues and gave suggestions to overcome it. I was unable to believe that he had actually searched online for this.
After that day, my husband started coming home early from work to spend time with me and our son. He took care of our son and gave me some time to rest. My guess was that he was doing everything that Google suggested to help me get rid of the Baby Blues. He turned patient and understanding towards my emotional fragility. He assured me every day that we were together in this.
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My son is two years old now. I cannot imagine a day without him. However, I also dream of becoming an established writer. When I long for some alone time to wallow in the company of prose, my husband lends me a helping hand without me even having to ask. He understands me like no one ever does. He takes care of our son and gives me the time to enter my dreamland of stories. He is tired after a long day at work, but he lies that he isn’t. And, it is in these moments that I fall in love with him all over again.
My journey as a writer hasn’t always been smooth. Recently, I’d participated in a nationwide writing contest. I didn’t make it to the list of winners. It made me wonder: “Maybe I’m not a great writer?” When I told my husband this, he chose to disagree.
“You are a great writer,” he said.
“Then why was my story rejected?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “But, what I do know is that every rejection is an opportunity to learn and do better the next time.”
“Yeah,” I replied. “Do you believe I will be a great writer one day?”
“I already believe you are a fabulous writer,” he smiled. “You just need to work harder. That’s it. I have faith in you.”
Whenever I find myself falling in the chair of gloom, I remind myself of his faith in me.
Did I tell you that my partner isn’t a book lover? I know for a fact that he has never read a piece of fiction. Yet, he reads every story written by me. And, he shares his feedback, too. This means a lot to me.
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My husband is a cricket fan. He once said that he would love to watch a cricket match with me sitting beside him in a stadium. I remember telling him I wouldn’t ever want to watch a cricket match. If cricket isn’t my thing then reading isn’t his. But he’s never complained about doing that for me. So, this time, I have decided to accompany him to watch the next cricket match in the city. I guess it’s my turn to surprise him.