For most the women, this is a common issue that they don’t find their husband talking much with them. Very less number of times they do any meaningful conversation. I also feel the same and there nothing BAD in thinking so. Most of the couples have one partner very chatty and other little down in terms of initiating conversation. Like in my case, I am a silent personality and my husband is known for being communicative. Initially, my husband had a problem with my nature of being zipped. Although everything was good between us but due to my basic nature of talking less, he was little miffed. Over the course of time I improved myself and undoubtedly my husband encouraged (and forced) me to open up.
However, for this post, I am going to brainstorm why husbands talk less. Let’s have a look at the reasons:
1) Do you talk so much? It’s not a gross thing, first of all. Women are born to talk more than men. I read somewhere that on an average; a man speaks around 12000 words in a day. Whereas a woman speaks more than 25000 words. But that’s not going to give a pass to women to babble and talk without thinking carefully. You can, of course, talk uncontrolled when you are among your girlfriends but not when you are with your husband. He needs his fair time to talk.
2) You don’t listen to him with patience. It’s important for your husband to know that you value his opinion. So you must listen to him. If you listen and let him put his thoughts first, he would most likely take part in further conversation positively. If he is initially reluctant in starting the conversation, ask him to join and you can start it. But just accepts what he gives. Don’t wait for a long chat which we women have mastered since birth.
3) You are too determined to prove your point correct. I have made this mistake many times. Every couple gets involved in some kind of They can certainly have a difference of opinion. But it’s very common among women that they try to prove their point of view the best always. This is even possible, having the best opinion most of the times. But arguing with all our arms and reasons never impresses husbands. Women also take over with bursting into tears and then husbands close all the channels of considerations. Timeout ladies, don’t cry in between conversation. It creates a mess (it’s my personal experience).
4) You start a conversation at the wrong time. Any significant conversation cannot happen in the middle of a chaos. This means when kids are fighting, or when TV is on high volume or when someone is crying around you. You need to find a quite time to share your thoughts with each other. That could be over dinner out or after kids go to sleep.
5) You don’t know what to talk about with him. Husbands (mostly) are never interested in knowing the price of any makeup/jewelry item or about the end of season sales. So don’t throw these unnecessary details towards him. Apart from talking family things, a wife should also talk about other fun things that her husband likes. For example Indian Politics. Most of the husbands find interest in discussing what is happening in politics. So pick a ball from there. Sports, his hobbies, his childhood memories and his favorite movies can be the matters of doing a friendly huddle with your husband.
Recently I heart a relationship expert and she shared three basic rules of a happy married life.
AVOID these three things:
** Lack of communication (So, talk with you partner more often)
** Less communication (Clearly express your needs and expectation)
** Over communication (Don’t nag him with talking unnecessarily. “Bole to.. Pakane Kaa nhi ..” in the words of one my good friends)Published in