Struggles and Scars

I assumed my wife was in love with another man

They had married against their parents’ wishes and then he lost his job. When an old friend kept visiting them, he began to have doubts…

Ours was a perfect Cupid’s match. We tied the knot, much to the dislike of our parents. My wife was not only an epitome of beauty, but a great source of inspiration to me. She had a positive attitude and we were all set to fight our way in the journey of life without any family support. My father-in-law had repeatedly insisted to my wife not to get married to me – after all, I was a mere copywriter in an advertising agency. She assured him that I would soon establish myself and all would be fine.

couple living poorly
‘She assured her father that i would establish myself’ Image Source

My wife had a tutor in school. My father-in-law was very fond of him. He was a walking encyclopaedia of knowledge and my wife was also very proud of him. My father-in-law was always keen to get his daughter married off to this guy because he held a plum government job. After marriage, my wife and I had to leave our home, as my parents were enraged with our marriage. So we were forced to move into a tiny rented apartment. I was only a budding wordsmith and my pay packet was meagre. My wife bravely, without any complaint, ran the household with my limited income.

She was always cheerful and her smiles lit up her face. She assured me that she would manage the house to perfection while I concentrated on my work. She was my pillar of strength; she meant everything to me.

One day, we went to see a movie. There she met her former tutor after many moons. And our life took a major turn. He began to visit our home – sparingly at first and later regularly. I did not like this one bit. As luck would have it, a few months later, my ad firm closed down. I was jobless. We now had a son, which was an added responsibility. I was shattered. I searched frantically for a job. I was no mental support for my wife. I did not even have the mental strength to assure her, “I’ll get a job soon and life will be okay for all three of us.” That guy kept coming. I thought they were in love. I hated him!

Related reading: Here’s how to flirt when you’re already married

My father-in-law visited us. He told my wife in front of me that she deserved such a terrible predicament for marrying me against his wishes. It served her right.

For her good, he suggested that she should divorce me immediately and get married to that guy, who was still a bachelor. He would provide my wife and son with security, something which I could never give.

He told me that I was a total failure. I spun into depression. I was heading for a breakdown. My wife’s dad spoke to me with vengeance. With a tinge of sarcasm, he assured me that the only way I can escape reality is by committing suicide. I cried my heart out. I was too scared to kill myself, maybe because I loved my wife and son too deeply. I turned to my parents for financial help assuring them I’ll repay them as soon as I can. They simply turned away.

stressed man
‘i thought she loved another man’ Image Source

Related reading: 10 ways to deal with heartbreak

Time whispered by. It was a summer afternoon. I had bagged a job! As I came home, I cried with joy and thankfulness to God. I gave my wife the great news. She smiled. She told me that life is a roller coaster and that I must be strong in mind. She later told me how much her dad had insulted her, the pain she had to go through for taking the decision to marry me, on her own. She had fought with her dad against divorcing me. And the guy had also supported her financially to take care of her and our son for six months, as there was no one else we could turn to. Slowly, I repaid him.

struggle and scars

All this time, that guy had given my wife strength of mind to carry on. He had assured her she doesn’t have to leave the person she loves so deeply (that’s me) over such a small temporary setback as a lack of job. I regretted I misunderstood him and now we are best of buddies. My wife fought back her tears as she assured me that she’ll never leave me through the thick and thin of life…

Many years later, we continue to remain a warm and loving family.

My husband and his ex have reconnected on social media, and it’s spinning out of control. Is it just me?

Effects of an extramarital affair on the partner

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