Counselling

I escaped from an abusive marriage but am getting suicidal thoughts

I have no job, no money, nothing. I feel like a burden to my family and want my life to end
sad lady thinking something

Question:

Dear Ma’a,m.

I am a divorcee. I have gone through four years of mental pain in my marriage. I have no job, no marriage proposals, my father always worries about me.

Now I want to end my life.

I can’t make myself happy. I feel like I am a burden on my family. I have low confidence and self-doubt. People say that I am too good and very simple and that’s why I am facing this type of life. I am not that smart. I think I am too sensitive. I have lost my self-esteem in everything in my life. Where do I go? I feel suffocated in my life. I weep. Why am I so weak? Now I am a problem for my family. I live in fear, my mind is telling me that I should die. Please help me. Please also tell how I become mentally strong so that I don’t commit suicide.

Relationship counselling

Nishmin Marshall says:

Dear Lady,

It is so nice that you got in touch.

First, let me let you that you are smart, capable and intelligent. You said you are divorced and have gone through four years of mental suffering. That itself can be very hard to deal with. How long ago [restrict]have you been divorced for?

Take it easy. You feel you are a burden to your family because you don’t have a job or cannot find a suitable partner… while that is truly understandable, you must remember that by rushing into another marriage just because of your family or their worries may be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Take it easy for some time and calm yourself down. In life there are times when one feels miserable and cannot see anything good ahead. Have faith in God and think of all that you have in life, instead of what you don’t have. When one door closes on you surely another one will open.

To be happy or not is in our own hands, it is up to us and no one else. You have gone through a rough time but that does not mean you can think of suicide. Take control of yourself and tell yourself that no matter what happens, I am going to make my life worth living.

I will be happy and make others happy. Build confidence by doing and helping people around you. Don’t sit alone and pity yourself, because that will get you nowhere. Think of positive things, good things, be around persons who are happy. Do not think why is all this happening only to me. Instead, tell yourself that whatever the situation is, I am ready to face it. Only when you help yourself will the universe help you cope with your problems.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start feeling grateful for all that you have. See what is good in you and in others around you. Never think of taking your life, because your life is a gift from God. Be thankful for it and make it beautiful for yourself and others. Have faith in God and ask for his guidance.

Best wishes to you dear,
Nishmin

[/restrict]

consult here native

Why would she stay on with an abusive husband?

She was a victim of marital rape and yet blamed for the divorce


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2 Comments

  1. This post is such a brave step. I congratulate Bonobology for bringing these topics to light. Indian society has so many taboos associated with divorced, separated and widowed women. We need to talk about such things and make women feel that they need not feel depressed or upset about relationship turmoils. these things happen and as Ms. Nishmin says – being happy or not is entirely in one’s own hands.

  2. This is such a brave confession and what an amazingly helpful counselling to that. One of my close friends is going through something similar in her life, I shall share this link with her and I hope that she will feel better. I think the society needs to be a little easy and less judgmental towards women going through bad phases in relationships. We need to give them due space. And yes, it is true – being happy or not is in our hands.

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