Counselling

I love my first cousin

I love my cousin but I don't think that he will fight for me.
Close of a pretty girl

Question:

I love my father’s sister’s son, we have had an 8-year-long relationship. Now he is confused between me and his family, as he has to choose either of us. This is same for me, I love him so much that I can leave my family for him, but I am not able to understand what he wants, he is not showing any strength. I do not know how to handle this situation. Should I fight for him or let him go? I thought several times about letting him go but I cannot live without him. What do I do?

Related reading: I want to marry my cousin. How should I convince my mother?

Snigdha Mishra says:

Hi!

Seems like you’ve found yourself in a very tricky situation. From the limited information you’ve provided, I assume the families are against this alliance. First things first, in any relationship when the family is against the alliance the couple has to be together and show similar grit and courage for the relationship to culminate into marriage. From what you’ve mentioned, the boy has cold feet and is unsure.

It is the two of you who have to decide what you want and how prepared you are to bear the consequences. There are a few scenarios

  • You get married and abandon the family
  • There is no marriage as he abandons you or vice versa
  • You decide to part ways.

In any of these situations, there is a lot of pain, hurt and sadness involved. But, one can find a way to move on in any of these scenarios. Ending a relationship, be it with parents or a lover, however painful, isn’t the end of the world. It’s difficult, yes, but not impossible to go through and move out of.

No one can really decide this for you. You have to make a choice.
All the best!

Would she have put up a fight for him, if they had been physically involved?

You won’t believe who tried to sabotage our Goa–Gujarat love marriage

 

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