I want to relocate to another city for my career, but my husband doesn’t. How should I go about it?

Deepak Kashyap
Couple on Bicycles

Q: My husband also happens to be my colleague. It was a love marriage. But I want to relocate to another city now. He, however, is not keen as he’s just got a promotion. I, on the other hand, don’t want to be stuck here. I’ve explained it to him but he doesn’t understand. How should I go about it?

I would highly advise you to revisit your real reasons for leaving the town you are in and going to another, and see if you find those reasons to be a necessary condition for your long-term happiness and career or not. If not, then invest as much energy and imagination that you can in adjusting to your life in your town with your husband. Read a little bit of history of that town (I find that it helps you to relate to that place a bit more, like a friend whose history you are aware of), make new friends and find other fulfilling activities to involve yourselves in. Have you tried looking for another job in the same city?

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However if you, in the most honest admission to yourself, find it absolutely necessary to move to the city of your choice, then you have to accept the option of a long-distance marriage, which your partner may or may not be open to as an option. I would not lie to you and say that nothing would change. Every action has a consequence and every lack of action also has a consequence – the basics of Karma theory. You are in a classic fix of having to decide between two important values; your personal happiness and your marriage. It is not uncommon for married couples to live in different cities because of financial or career-related reasons.

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You may be able to have some parts of both of them with the decision of moving out of the city, but that would require communication and commitment from both sides.

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