Married Life

I’m happy to help her find herself

What does it mean to help your soul mate evolve and be evolved in the process?
herself

I met her coincidentally, or I would say, ‘by chance’. She and I met online and soon turned into best friends just through our casual chat sessions. God has his own ways of making one believe in love. How else one can explain crossing ways even when professions, social circles, cities and worlds differ?

Our daily routine comprises ample time for each other with numerous fun moments, each of which is a testimony of our happiness. And this, ‘our’ time, is what makes us different from others who dream about a happy and contented life. Right from day one, I made sure, no matter what, I would be with her in everything, and unknowingly, together we created an ecosystem that not only improved our private lives, but our social and professional personalities, too. The time that we invested in our relationship made us catch on to each other’s positivity in a way that took our personality to a higher level that we were unaware of in the past.

I am very emotional and paranoid. I freak out too often, and would worry about negative scenarios and past experiences related to my professional growth. A diehard workaholic for years, I would spend weeks at a stretch without sleep if I was stuck on a demanding project. And I never realised this was leeching away my happiness, contentment and passion drop by drop, every moment.

She helped me change my attitude and helped me to appreciate life by bringing in small changes in my lifestyle. She taught me the importance of being patient, relaxing and not punishing myself for goals that weren’t achieved.

She is the one, who through her gestures, patience, and faith in me and my abilities helped me become focused to achieve success.

Her husband’s faith and support helped her to pursue a career in writing.

During my tiring work sessions that stretched to hours in the midnight, she is always the one, who emphasises the importance of sleep for a fresh morning. And she gradually changed my work-centric routine by involving me in casual talk, moving my gadgets away from the bedroom so that I don’t get distracted during late night hours.

And I on the other hand, impacted her life in a completely different way. From early childhood, she had the responsibility of raising her young sister because of her working mother. And that made her lazy during her teenage. She kept fulfilling her duties as they came by, but took an aversion to doing simple things like cooking for herself or taking care of herself. That was because she looked forward to lying down in calm, whenever she got time, instead of employing herself in more work.

When she moved in, living in a nuclear setup made her feel comfortable instantly. She didn’t have any responsibilities to take care of.

She had forgotten herself: her passion, her existence and her personality. I motivate her to write again, to indulge in interesting activities and made something simple like cooking a joyful event.

I cook with her daily, trying various exotic recipes. So instead of pushing her into the responsibility of taking care of home and kitchen singlehandedly, I involve myself in the process, which ensures more time for her own self. And through all these months, I have managed to bring up her lost personality, where she is open to changes, open to giving her views and open to exploring the world to find the best for her and for us.

Find out how couple-dynamics have changed across generations for the better.

My small gestures helped her build her confidence, on herself, on her writing and on our future together. When I see couples fighting over petty issues, all I remember is the last smile I receive when I leave home in the morning and the first when I come home in the evening. Her revived smile reinforced my belief that we can evolve our partner’s personality, not by heavily investing in efforts to make the other believe in love, but by changing daily routine to bring the best out of available time for each other.

Published in Married Life

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