I’m married to a man who’s uncomfortable with Public Display of Affection

Riti Kaunteya
funny couple

If you love me, show me (and the whole world)!

Abhishek Bachchan is doing it on Instagram, Sonam is doing it by taking her new hubby to Cannes, and Prince Harry and Meghan are doing it against royal protocol, so why shouldn’t I?

I am talking of PDA, aka Public Display of Affection among couples. I’ve read that couples who engage in PDA are sort of show-offs and insecure of their relationship, so they don’t always do it out of real love but to over-compensate. A survey revealed that people get highly uncomfortable with PDA and at best, they ignore the couple.

A survey revealed that people get highly uncomfortable with PDA and at best, they ignore the couple.

On our Singapore trip, my sons got their first lesson on PDA as a couple engaged in hot display of affection in the queue. I tried very hard to disengage them, (the children, not the couple), yet they ogled at the open display in morbid fascination. Apparently, the French have the lowest rate of heart disease in the world because their excessive Public Display of Affection is highly beneficial to the heart.

During a recent family trip, the older generation of men, in an open display of affection and romance, called their respective spouses to come and sit by their side. Whereas, our gang of cousins in our 30s and 40s, equally openly formed women only and men only groups and sat together for the good part of the journey, thus giving us fodder on the lack of the PDA factor in our respective marriages.


Don’t touch me in public!

The reason I do not display my affection in public is because the husband is quite shy of real Public Display of Affection like holding hands or hugging. Ah well, one cannot go beyond, as far as my prude of a spouse is concerned. He is known to shake my hand off if I hold it during a walk on the beach. He is known to hug every person in the group except me before leaving for a trip, unless I make it painfully obvious and give him a chaste, side hug just so as not to feel left out. There is a term for this, I learnt. We are PDA-incompatible.

The last time I tried to hold him from behind when we were on a two-wheeler, not for PDA purpose but more for safety on the perilous bike, he shook me off and told me to hold on to the side bars tightly to avoid falling, and not to embarrass him by such blatant display of affection in public.

So, I resort to less known forms of PDA which the husband cannot protest at.

Related reading: 13 non-sexual touches to feel intimate and close

My clever ways of showing my affection

I try to match my colours of my outfit with the husband, just the way Korean couples do or an aunt of mine does. The husband, who has no idea this is my way of showing PDA, has no reason to protest.

During my pregnancy, I wore the spouse’s shirts for one full semester and made a collectible of pictures of both of us wearing the same clothes, albeit on different occasions.

Another way I display my affection is to eat out of his plate or drink from his juice glass.

Another way I display my affection is to eat out of his plate or drink from his juice glass.

couple looking at each other

Representative Image source

No brainer. Just his wife sharing his food, isn’t it? He has no clue, truly.

Recently, I dedicated my first romance book, Love at Second Sight, to the husband. The declaration of love and romance was as blatant as it could be and the husband could not protest, because the deed was already done and the book already in print.

Related reading: How to have a happy marriage when you are an emotionally distant person?

Presenting him with a fait accompli

For some reason he doesn’t protest when we take a loving couple snap in a secluded spot or in a place where no known person is there to see us. I take those pictures and put them all over Facebook. There we have a public display of affection(ate) photograph against which he cannot protest, because the deed is done and several likes and comments have already come in.

Sometimes I go with reverse PDA. I get hold of his phone and post a couple of snaps on Facebook with an open declaration of ‘my lovely wife’. Before he knows it, he has nearly a 100 likes and wows and personal messages asking how he posted such a picture with an open declaration of love to his wife for the first time.

Remind me to keep this article hidden from the husband, lest he catches on to my ways of PDA.


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1 comment

Aditi Mishra
Aditi Mishra June 16, 2018 - 11:43 pm

Haha well I am also a sort of person who loves to have moments of PDA but my husband resists it always so I can have a form of connect. This surely gonna help me carry out my fantasy.

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