Counselling

I’m separated from abusive husband but can’t prepare for divorce

Don't like the stigma of divorce but the stress due to abusive husband is too much to bear, even though we live apart
close up of a woman who is crying

Question:

Sir,

I’ve been reading Bonobology for a very long time and today I myself am in a situation that is unpleasant and difficult. I have been married to an educated man for the past 11 years. Since the beginning he has tried to put me down. He never celebrates my birthday. It’s a long story, I don’t know how to write everything in one mail. After many problems, I decided to live separately from him. I bought a new house with the help of my parents and by taking a loan. Also, I am earning well.

My mother-in-law died a year ago and he didn’t call me for her death or besna. So I couldn’t go. I was afraid that going uninvited may lead to a scene being created at a solemn time of the death of family member. He didn’t write our son’s name in the besna news in newspaper either.

Now he has said that he wants divorce because I didn’t go for my mother-in-law’s besna.

I feel very bad thinking of divorce. I am unable to prepare my self for it. He always blames me for everything, specially the broken marriage. These depressing thoughts occupy my head all the time and sometimes I slap my son due to anxiety.

Please help me. What should I do? Please guide me.

relationship counselling

Counsellor Deepak says:

Hello ma’am,

Growing up in cultures like ours, sometimes we may internalise the stigma against

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She’s no longer ‘happily married’ but free

Financial assistance for divorced moms

consult here native

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