Struggles and Scars

I’m stuck in a sexless marriage for the sake of society

She saved herself for marriage but her husband does not seem interested in having sex at all. What future does the sexless marriage have?
incompatible in bed

(As told to Pooja Priyamvada)

My upbringing was traditional and I never interacted with men

I grew up in a traditional family in the hills of Uttarakhand where girls are raised in utmost discipline and there never is any room to question the age-old beliefs about customs or traditions.

After primary school, I was shifted into a girls-only school and in the village too we weren’t supposed to interact with other boys except for brothers, cousins, uncles and family males, and in that too there were a number of rules ever since I turned 11-12. Never be without a dupatta other than when you are sleeping. Don’t make eye contact with any men and speak as minimally as possible in their presence.

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22 Comments

  1. I feel like a mirror has been placed before my eyes, what my future will look like.. Just the difference is I am in my 2nd year of marriage, still did not consummate. I am having second thoughts on my marriage right now.

  2. I led a sexless married life for 16 years, and then I strayed. My husband used to blame my ‘looks’ and ‘figure’ for his disinterest. Apart from this, he is an incorrigible flirt, compulsive lier, a heavy drinker and chain smoker. When I strayed, I realised that a man, who was better than my husband in all respects, found me totally desirable in bed. The relationship didn’t last, but it gave me a lot of confidence, and I emerged out strong. I should have walked out of the marriage while I was young. Maybe life would have given me a second chance. But like all Indian women, I was unsure, indecisive, and scared of society. No regrets today, as I have had my share of fun, and grown old now. I would suggest it’s best to dissolve the marriage in such cases.

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