I have been married for 17 years. My hubby is having an affair with a divorced woman and she has three kids. I came to know after they had been together for a year. When I questioned him he said that he can’t cheat her at any cost. Now from past two years I am very depressed and my husband has started abusing me. He has asked me to get out from the house.
Somehow I managed to keep my mouth shut just because of my daughter. Now I am in a relationship with a man who is married. When he proposed to me he said that he left his wife within a year of his marriage. But now after 4 months of our relationship he says, his wife is pregnant. She gave birth four days back. This man is genuine, but he expect sex from me, as well as money and things. He wants to do shopping by spending money from my pocket.
I am totally confused now. On one side my husband is not bothered about me and my daughter. On this other side I am unable to leave the present relationship because he loves me and I love him. But till today he never spend single rupee on me but expects me to spend on him every time. Also, he loves his wife and child very much, but he doesn’t care about my daughter.
Will this relationship will continue for a long time? I don’t know whether he’s just having a relationship with me for money or sex. Really I am confused. Ma’am, can you please guide me.
Related reading: I knew my husband was cheating on me, yet I kept quiet
Prachi Vaish says:
My dear, you have landed yourself in a big sticky mess because of your [restrict]confused emotions.
First things first, This new man does not love you. He’s tricking you into believing that he does because he wants to exploit you. I can understand you must be addicted to his attention and that’s perfectly natural, but you need to break away from it all if you are to take charge of your life. You have a daughter and her future to think of too and you need to have your life goals straight!
Second, about your husband, if he thinks he’s happier with that other woman, let him be. Walk away! I don’t know what your financial independence status is and making a decision to walk out will take a lot of careful planning but you will have to take a step in the right direction – and a firm step.
And it won’t happen until you unburden yourself with these men who leech off you like parasites.
Tell yourself, that for a while you need to replenish your psychological resources so you can build a life for yourself and your daughter and you don’t NEED anyone but yourself. And then tackle each front one by one, slowly, carefully, meticulously.
Life isn’t over. This is a chance, take it. But first, get rid of this “lover”!
You’ll find a much better guy down the line, trust me. Contact me if you need someone to guide you through the process, I’ll be happy to be of help. All the best!